Monthly Archives: March 2012

We are Not Alone

 

God speaks through me sometimes. It’s true. Whether you believe in God or not, or a Higher Power, I do. I cannot deny it. Nor can I prove it. But I don’t have to. The words and the wisdom come, the turning around from, the changing of mind, the miracle of rebirth in a moment’s sigh, the realization that I was wrong – the surrender to what is true, what is soft, miraculous, sure, and strong. What is not myself as I thought I was – deliberate, stubborn, insecure, steadfast, slighted, vulnerable and afraid. All the human emotions dissipate with just one word.

Truth comes to those who are looking for it.  Our defenses are high, our ramshackle defenses are waylaid, threadbare, savage, silly, afraid. How do we justify ourselves when what we have created is so bare?  What does it take to give that up and walk away?

Everything.

I learned this today.  An article on the Law of Motion/Inertia stated that we are constantly moving in our chosen trajectory even when we think we are standing still. We may think we are “stuck” or helpless, but we are always on a path going somewhere (or nowhere!) – It may be the path our grandparents laid out, or our parents chose for us, or our schools and universities, or businesses, or family and friends, even our children. We are deeply rooted in the world we see, and in the path laid out before us.  How do we remain free?  What are we rooted in?

There are so many ways to look at a thing.

But what if we looked within?

 

Today I did just that. I had ideas whirling around in my head, stresses and counter-stresses, thoughts and routines, worries and imaginings, concepts of me and others others, plans and no plans. So much interference! There was no room for me. Or them. No room for Reality…

So I stepped back. Lit a candle. Put my sanctuary back.  Opened my book of peace, the one that works for me. Where the words instantly produce a different feeling, an instant reality. Shifting everything I thought just minutes before and releasing me from all doubt and worry.  I am free.

 

And so I hum and sigh and release. I shake it all off. I hear the sun again on the horizon of a day I never knew existed before this special meeting. I had been in the car, carpooling and careening.  I was not driving anywhere that had any meaning.  And so I pulled aside. I got out. I got what I needed.  And sitting here, not so much in the driver’s seat, as hovering above the scene – I can breathe. I can see more clearly.  I am not in such a hurry to figure it out.  I have this candle and I have peace.

I have the words that have  meaning to  me. That is all it takes.

Maybe I don’t need to run to the gym, pop 5 or 7 pills (vitamins!) and do mental Olympics to pull off this feat. Maybe I don’t need 17 people to believe in me. Maybe it’s enough to slow down and listen again – to me – to that deepest most trusted, most serene part of me. The part that knows everything. The part that needs nothing.

In this peace I am not alone. Nor do I need to do anything. I just receive what I have already been given. I see the gifts. I realize my own potential. And the new path entrusted to me. I have a responsibility.  But my first responsibility is to myself – to hear the Truth properly. To allow it to shift me, to let it do it’s job on me. Then, and only then, can I go out and do my job in the world.

“All things are given you. God’s trust in you is limitless. He knows [You]. He gives without exception, holding nothing back that can contribute to your happiness.”   – A Course in Miracles, Lesson 166,

Owning My Power

In a recent journey through inner landscapes of past lives and other spiritual realms, I discovered something I already knew about myself:  I hold an incredible amount of wisdom and POWER. My problem: I don’t own it. Yet.

But, what if I did?

What does it mean to “own my power”? I get tired of all these trite phrases now, “owning my power”, and I’m guilty of using them on a regular basis to make it easier for myself and others to “get it”.  But, if this journey isn’t personal, if the revelations aren’t specific enough to be meaningful, what good are they? But it’s a start. Bare with me.

What I really mean is…  I have experienced deeply spiritual, wondrous things, and received specific messages that are not just for me, but do I share them? Rarely.  If I have access to all this power and wisdom and knowledge, why don’t I admit it? Share it?

There is something to be said for being modest, being accepted. No one, including me, wants to feel rejected or “alone”, outside of, different. “Special” maybe, separate, no. Or worse, to be called a “cuckoo” for being a little different.  Personally, I call myself a “cuckoo-head” all the time and wear it like a badge of honour!

But seriously, at what point do I recognize that this is just a sly ego ploy to get me to hang back and be accepted. To NOT be myself. To NOT say those things. To NOT make a difference in people’s lives to the degree that I could. Not to be labeled a “cuckoo” which I already proudly claim, so w all the time.

I’ll give you an example. Last week I was in a class exploring Life Between Lives (the place we go when we die, before we return again, if you believe in reincarnation, and, even if you don’t). During this process I began to channel a greater being – by greater I mean more powerful than I’m used to, and expressing things in such a bold, direct way that felt more assertive and clear to me than my usual way of expressing.  The energy in my body was so great that I could barely contain it. Some people had to sit down on the ground they could just sense something big was happening.  I can’t take credit for this, but then I had to ask myself after it was done – why is this happening to me?  If this being is coming through me, imparting this knowledge and wisdom to me, isn’t it a part of me? Something I can now claim as a part of myself?  If I am being exposed to its higher knowledge, than isn’t it my knowledge, too?

My teacher hinted to me after class, “You now have the key. Own it. Use it.”

 

I don’t have to be Perfect to be Powerful

I now have the privilege of teaching, something new for me.  I am not used to teaching adults. I am usually better with children.  In my classes I am exploring various spiritual and experiential themes – things that are very practical (like money), and very personal and deep – like each person’s unique calling and gifts. I feel how important this is, and yet I still hang back, pretending not to know what I know, afraid of saying too much. Keeping it safe (for them, or for me?)  But who am I really pleasing? And who am I really helping by holding back?

What I am sharing here is my own internal process, and I’m not afraid to share it. That is part of my gift – honesty.  I am not perfect nor ever claim to be. My humanness is what makes any of this sharing possible.  I’ve been told by many that it is my humanness and vulnerability which is so attractive, and which makes the wisdom possible, accessible. I am an amalgam of both realities. I believe this makes me better, not less than. But, and this is the hard part, by attuning to my spiritual gifts more often and owning them, I would be so much more able to help myself and others transcend the difficulties we all experience here.  And by owning my gifts and using them more often, I am being more honest. More myself. Who I Am, in truth.

So what do I know? What is my POWER?

I have been channeling for years. I have been asking and seeking for decades. Perhaps I even came here with the spiritual quester’s cap on. My heart and soul longs for it. I just can’t tolerate anything less. I just can’t accept the status quo.  But, I must have CLARITY OF PURPOSE in order to ACT ON this higher knowing, to exercise this POWER in the world. Without that, my powers do not have a proper outlet.

If I don’t step up and start vocalizing this truth without shrinking back or apologizing, it just feels like I’m playing in the sandbox of life counting how many grains of sand there are, or debating why some grains jump out unexpectedly while others stay in line (chaos theory – thanks, Cass.).

 

 

Where does My Power come from?

My POWER comes from acting on what I already know I’ve been given without having to have it all figured out yet. I know ENOUGH. I don’t know everything. But I KNOW. I know when it feels right, and I know when it feels wrong.  I know ENOUGH to keep on going. My power comes from having the courage to succeed. To keep on becoming myself.  Keep on exploring. Keep on asking those questions. And better yet, offering my INSIGHTS, my RADICAL experiences of what life might be on the other side of the sand box. Where ultimately does it all come from? I can’t tell you that. And yet, I still Know.

As my teacher says, “Once you know something, you can’t un-know it.” (Unless you really want to).

And why, if I Know better, would I choose to forget?  To pretend it’s not true?

I guess what I’m saying in this excruciatingly meandering way, is….  I KNOW a lot already. I’ve experienced a tonne. And I am an eternal spirit with access to divine wisdom that I want to share.  So, get on with it!

Isn’t it time to Own it?  To Accept my Power?

Everyone is given it in their own way. But very few ask for or accept it.  I did. And I do.

Now, all I have to do is – Own it.

Let me know your thoughts on this. Have you experienced your own power?  Do you want to?  What can we do to allow this to happen more often? To support it, encourage it, trust it, own it.  I want to.  Do You?

Write below and share your knowing, your power.

Hearing the Whisperings of Purpose

During my Hypnosis class last week, I experienced several past lives. It was a fascinating adventure and totally unexpected at times. Although I believe in past lives, not everybody does.  And I even found myself playing the devil’s advocate. A healthy skepticism to  keep my mind clear. Of course I was excited by the idea of it, and couldn’t help but have some positive expectations that it might give me clues as to the purpose of my current life. Otherwise, it’s just a good story…

I wasn’t disappointed.  More later!