Monthly Archives: July 2012

Miracle 24: “Beacon of Hope” Audio GIFT

 

Today I had a conversation with Spirituality Life Coach, Nat Couropmitree in which we talked about going from “Not-Enough to Self-Love” or empowerment. Although my own story shed light on what it was all about for me, it wasn’t until I let go and let the light flow that my true message came through.  It wasn’t about me. This was for everyone.

Here is a free Audio meditation I did for you inspired by today’s message:

LISTEN:  Beacon of Hope Light Meditation by Krista Moore July 2012 (mp3 download)

 

And a Prayer to Light the Way:

I walk as a beacon of hope for others whose light stands in the way of darkness,

who cannot see, who hide and cannot find their way

I walk as a beacon of light hoping that those who cannot see will come to meet me and

See that I light their way

I walk as a beacon of light

Hiding mine as well at times, and knowing

That as I shine forth and ask for forgiveness, and a great task,

One will be given me.

 

There are those who seem to walk alone,

Who have no currency the world wants

And yet, they walk with me

And I with them.

They are not dark, but light

I am certain

I can see

I am determined to be that light for them

As they are for me

We walk together

Knowing this light cannot be

Without being shared,

Without direct currency from the One who knows

The One who sees

The One who purposes it

And Gives it All to All and One for One

Forever

And So it Is

Amen

 

Affirmation:  Let me be a Beacon of Hope, so that as my light shines, it lights the way for others. As they remember who they are and see, they become a Beacon of Hope like me. 

Miracle 23: “The Miracle of Love”

Bud Opening – Photo by Patty O’Hearn Kickam 2007

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

                                                                                           – Anais Nin

 Today’s miracle was taken from an audio that came through the process of forgiveness and allowing.  This is a transcription of that audio.  The audio is available to those who signed up for “30 Days of Miracles” on the “Subscriber Audio” page.

Today I awoke and came outside. I’m sitting out on the lounger and the sun is rising over my house, and I realize there is a part of me that has numbed out, that is afraid to open my heart again.

There is a part of me that gives everything in a moment and then pulls everything away.  When things don’t work out the way I want them to, or a person fails me in some way, or I fail myself, or even question my faith (is this just randomness and mistakes?)…

On a deeper level I know this is not true, because I see the miracles that happen in relationship.  And when everything seems to be going wrong, when there are tears and heartache, pain and separation, when I start to imagine what the other person is thinking without really knowing what is true, and then defend myself in my mind by shutting down… This is a mistake we all make at times when life is difficult and hard. And when my fragile heart is just too afraid to open again, like that tiny bud that is so tight it cannot possibly fathom the light.

 Today I open myself to a miracle, that that tiny bud inside of me and inside of you, might feel the warmth of the light upon it, and DARE to raise its head and open again knowing that the beauty and the love and the peacefulness and the happiness that comes from opening ourselves to joy, to love, no matter how hard they may be – that those openings and those gifts are worth it. 

Our human mind closes down when it is not safe to love – we might get disappointed, or someone may turn around and say something that we don’t like or didn’t expect, or they may go away, or we may decide it’s too late, and that we have to go our own way. These things are not what love is all about.  And yet, at the same time, the world is the way the world is…

A miracle is the forgiveness that happens regardless what the external circumstances looks like,  that no matter what we’ve decided to do or say, or not do, or not say, at the deepest level, the sun is rising over us, at the deepest level the bud is opening, at the deepest level that person loves us, and at the deepest level we know that love is real and true, golden and pure.

Our human minds may not allow us to achieve love the way we would like to in this world, but when we get a glimpse of it, we know that its true – it’s worth fighting for, it’s worth rising up for, it’s worth forgiving and asking for a miracle instead.   How that may look we do not know, whether it’s a conversation, a letter that we write to ourselves or to another, a prayer in the hidden parts of our heart, walk on the beach, a sacred trek, or just a simple moment of forgiveness and curiosity, open to the answer that we don’t have, knowing that any answer that we come up with is just a defense.

Love is sacred and true, no matter what the world looks like, no matter what we do.

Keep hold of this today, as I do, as I feel the sun on my face, knowing that the miracle of love will always rise again in our hearts, and that our minds, too, will open like a lantern to receive it, and to allow it, that deeper connection that we all crave, and that we all know in some secret place in our hearts still exists and always will.

For this I say,

Amen.

 

What is your miracle of love?  Who can you forgive today? Can you forgive yourself? Can you allow that tiny bud in your heart to open once more to love, and allow Love’s Light to shine on it again?

Miracle 22: “A Miracle Alights On You”

 

Nothing can disturb my peace today.  Yes, it is sunny, and gorgeous, and we are outside most of the time. Yes, we have a new pool, and a beautiful stone path being born, and help to do everything we need. But not the sun, not the pool, not the friends, nothing can bring me the peace I have when I read words of Truth sent to me through A Course in Miracles (Foundation for Inner Peace).

I am also reading, The Gnostic Gospels, as interpreted/translated from the Nag Hammadi Library texts discovered outside a cave in Egypt in 1945.  I find they are sometimes beautiful and strikingly familiar, especially the Valentinian texts (The Gospel of Truth), but when it comes to Jesus’ sayings (eg. The Secret Gospel of James), written over a century or more after Jesus supposedly spoke them) I find them highly inconsistent with his message of Love, at once condemning and then blessing we humans for our folly or faith.

Based on my reading of the Course, some of the New Testament, and the Gnostic Gospels, the original message of Jesus seems to be purely:

God is Love, and nothing else is. Fear cannot destroy you if you believe in Love. You don’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to follow man’s rules, you don’t have to prove your worth to God or follow a set of complex tasks or rituals, or what one author calls the Conventional Wisdom of the day) to win God’s favor.  Jesus was a revolutionary. He was hardly conventional. His message, if you listen deeply is:

Forgive, love, and then forgive again. Because we all make mistakes, and will continue to do so, until they day we die – and even then! Perhaps for eternity.

God is Love, and nothing else is, no other words that speak of condemnation or lack or destruction, mean anything at all. In my opinion, these false declarations (even if they do appear in the Bible) come from the ego, which sees only the opposite of Love, and condemns everything it does not understand.  Like a child afraid of the dark, it lashes out, makes demands, attacks. It is either frantic and afraid of monsters, or becomes one. It does not know truth or wisdom, and so it conceals (like pulling the covers over your head). It cannot see reality as it is.

Institutionalized religion has done its best, but has often become distorted and fearful, restrictive, making people equally afraid or indifferent. Thank God for those seeking comfort who find it.  But there is more to find.  I believe we are coming to a time where people are seeking a greater Truth that defies all description, boundaries and limitations of this world. We are coming to a time of understanding and peace, but it will not come easily.

I can’t proclaim to be an enlightened being, though I have my moments of lucidity and clarity. I believe Life channels through me.  And the truth truly sets me free, and those in its wake.  I love it. It feels so generous, so alive, so full of love.  It lifts. It is not bound by any one interpretation, or doctrine, or belief, or institution.

Truth is free like a butterfly, it visits beauty and teases us with its purity and freedom. It makes us want to ascend to reach it and become like it. And know that it exists.

Someday this level of knowledge and liberation will seem normal.  To want it, expect it, declare it, live it.  Right now, it’s still a little uncomfortable, especially in the West.  Though it’s getting better. I’m getting better.

This is my Sabbath statement, without a synagogue or church over my head. This is what came through, with my hand on A Course in Miracles and my heart full of truth.

I hope Truth visits you today, in all its beautiful colours, alighting and teasing you forward and beyond. Reach up, listen for it, see it and laugh. It is there.  A miracle alights on you as you are recognized for what you are.

Amen!

 

Miracle 21: “Second Chance”

Power & Love cards – Goddess Tarot

If you could revisit a part of your history, would you? Or be given a second chance to get it right, now, in the present. Completely new. Forgiven. Would you?

There are parts in my history I can’t yet talk about. I write them for myself. They are hard lessons, and sometimes, even the most miraculous events. But they are personal. And so I shield them, even from myself. When something goes awry, or is misunderstood, there is a vacancy, a request, a longing. An unfinished story that needs entering into.

Or does it? Is it dead or just resting? Is it dangerous, or a calculated risk, one worth taking?

These are the questions which plague me sometimes on my live wire of life. (Was very glad the fine young gentleman, Nik Wellanda made it across Niagara Falls! Believe me, I was holding my breath, but I knew he wouldn’t fall).  It was a part of his history too, and a part of his destiny. It took guts, faith and charisma. And he didn’t fall.

What makes us great when we’ve made a mistake, or think we haven’t lived up to that call? Do we try again? Do we risk it all? Risk the fall? Or take another route, find another way?

When I listen, this is what I hear:

You didn’t make a big mistake. You arrived here, that’s all. You were brave. You just miss it, but you haven’t missed anything at all. You only think you missed it, but maybe “it” missed you, maybe you’re the one whose

worth all the trouble, who’s got it all. Maybe your happiness is realizing there’s nothing “out there” at all. All your guts, charisma, chutzpah, dynamism, skill, lighting rod smile – all of it – is in here all the while. It’s waiting for YOU to come out, to visit  – that’s all. You haven’t missed IT!

You have a second chance to come out of hiding – THAT’S ALL!

Wisdom card – Goddess Tarot

This is one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned. I often given credit to other people for my progress, my breakthroughs, my good times, even my talent or abilities. I forget that what they were so struck with when they met me, and what made me feel so good about myself, was them recognizing my true self.  They let my light shine – or I did!  Their gift in the relationship was calling me out of my shell, helping me see myself more clearly, giving me a little push – or pull out of that well.

No one can make you who you are. And no one – I mean no one, can take who you are away from you.  Your life is never over just because someone else moved on – or you.  Your life has just begun – again and again and again!

I feel calmed and happy to know that I will always have great people in my life who make me feel good, and I’m grateful. But when I’m missing someone, or feel I’ve done something wrong, or missed an opportunity, I know, I know, I know – I have to stop pretending – I didn’t do something wrong – I did what I had to do to move on.

And sometimes my miracle or second chance is not reconciliation or remembering, but Revelation. Illumination – on a part of myself I left behind, on the truth of what still lies ahead.  I recover her (my true, vulnerable self), dust her off, love her, heal her, dry her aching bones and give her a nice back massage.  Speak from the sore-heart places and resurrect her dreams and visions. And when I am done I don’t feel I’ve missed anything at all. I feel I’ve recognized, finally, again, maybe for the never last time, a new YOU/ME/IT – the vanquished dream has come to life again, and my second chance is a banquet.

I am host, and you’re invited!

 

 

 What is your second chance about? What part of yourself did you only think you left behind? How about drawing him/her back out and giving yourself another chance.

 

 

 

Miracle 20: “Plant a Seed”

 

This miracle came after a secret prayer of my heart. The words are for you and me. Miracle 20, “Plant a Seed” of Krista’s “30 Days of Miracles”.

 

I am willing to be led, to be changed, to be made new again. I am willing to give up the small fish and keep the big fish, to be fed by you. Please remind me of who I am. And you.  Amen.

I am changed. I am filled with mighty strength. I am renewed. I will not succumb to the plants that fall before me like weeds, shorn and tattered and forgotten, laid in a heap, forgotten.

I am not this. I am the weather beaten tree that never leaves, I am the life that flows freely from you to me. I am not weather worn, but the tree. I am the life that flows through me.

The apple that is shorn from the tree is no longer the tree, but an apple, but it remembers the tree. It plants a seed. And it grows again and becomes the tree.

Plant a seed. Do not fall far from the tree.

Remember me.

Amen.

tree

What is the secret prayer of your heart? No one else needs to know. Let it be felt and pure, plant it in the ground of your heart and mind. Let it wash through. It will grow.

Miracle 19: “Do the Right Thing”

Miracle 19 is all about relationships, and the complications of knowing what is right and what is wrong. This is the lesson, and miracle, of a lifetime, that never ends. The opportunities to learn, love and forgive are endless. Here is my answer, to “do the right thing.”

Relationships are difficult. They test our very boundaries of sanity at times. They can be soul-filled streams of delight, and sometimes the darkest nightmares of separation and uncertainty.  The strands that hold us together can be quite thin, until we ask what it is that will make things better, or what we need to “do the right thing.”

One thing the miracle has taught me is my immediate answer is not always the right one.

I can think of several circumstances where my guilty conscience, or need to please, or need to entertain myself without concern for others, took the place of doing the more difficult but right thing.

For example, at times I may have trouble giving more than I want to in the moment – or in a different way than I am used to.  I start off hesitant, judgmental, fearful that the demand is too great. That somehow I won’t be able to.  My crabby girl sets in, or resentful crazy person, or worse, “hopeless one” who thinks it will never work. Why not give up?

And yet, when I ask my internal teacher what to do, the answer comes:

“Do what you can when you can –  no more, but also, no less.” 

And so, a simple call to say hello, or to help out a friend in need, or agreeing to try something new, give it another chance, transforms me from gloomy and irrational to cheerful and relieved…

A wave of love soars through me, and our conversation ends in a laugh and the reward of a grateful “Bless you”.

It is more difficult when times change, or values separate, or the need to do go in a new direction threatens a familiar relationship or pattern or way.  It can be terrifying to contemplate the loss of a loved one, or an institution, or familial bond.  I know when I need to take ownership of who I really am and be authentic. I can try and try, but I cannot pretend.

What to do in these awkward and difficult times?  As difficult as it is, and as much as I want to avoid or retreat, I have found the miracle to be this:

BE HONEST

(DO THE RIGHT THING)

To me, that means: Don’t hide, don’t pretend, don’t lie.

Just do the right thing.

I tell my loved one how I am feeling. Or cry my irrational tears until I have let it all out. I consider myself fortunate to have very good and understanding people in my life who can tolerate a lot of change and disruption.  I made a pact with myself that I must be myself, even if I am mad, sad or uncertain.

I have to be who I am.

And if I can’t be myself, if my thoughts are not welcome, then I know the opposite is true – that retreat can be good. If I have been honest and done everything I can but still feel something is amiss, then sometimes change and accepting the truth  is doing the right thing.

There is no simple answer.Each relationship is unique, and all are gifts to teach us who we are and what lessons we need to learn here.

 

My miracles have come in the form of many relationships.  Some have been catalysts for awakenings, activators for change and growth to spur each other to new heights.  Others have been there for comfort and grounding, like a gentle tether holding a giant hot air balloon, so I don’t completely drift off!  Others still test my limits and challenge me to be myself, and to be patient and wise with others, to balance my needs with theirs, to say yes or no with strength and not  sacrifice.

Each relationship, no matter what the outcome, is a potential miracle because it is a tool for transformation.

“Doing the right thing” is different in each one.  Only I know when I’ve got it right.  It is often feels like relief, warmth, delight.  And sometimes it is sheer joy, grace and gratitude, a feeling of “Thank God, I didn’t give up.”

Until that moment, I don’t know. I struggle to protect myself. But when I let go, speak the truth and discover what it is I am really trying to say, I no longer fear the other can take that away.

Sometimes doing the right thing means loving myself, and not blaming them.

And when I’m in doubt, I take a time out. I put that person, or situation, on the alter of my mind. I pray a silent prayer of care and love, that the best thing be done for them and all concerned, and I release them into the light.

I see them as happy, smiling and at peace, and I smile an inner knowing that no matter what happens, all will be OK.  I did the best I can.

Amen.

 

 

 

Miracle 18: “What Faith Means to Me”

This is in answer to Miracle 17: “A Miracle Requires Work” (contributed by my friend, Dom Castanza). Thank you, Dom. And here is what I could not articulate last night. Miracle 18 of “30 Days of Miracles 2012”.

 

I have not been unscarred by life, by disappointment. I am not a perfect human being. There have been many cases when what I hoped for, what I thought was going to happen, never did. I have also received tremendous gifts in answer to my prayers. Unexpected blossomings, savings and messages.

When I was 25 years old, I planted seeds in a garden. These were not normal seeds. They were seeds from a cantaloupe I was eating in my kitchen, in a small town, overlooking a sod farm.  It was a lovely place, and had its charm, but something about it wasn’t for me. I felt a dry kind of existence there, a lack of antiquity, art, interest, pizzazz, LIFE.

 

I worked 9 to 5 (or 10 to 6) and travelled an hour and a half to work each way.  I went to school at night, driving up one of those small country highway roads surrounded by corn fields.  It was dark and my headlights were of no help. On the radio I would listen to those late night radio programs to help me stay awake. Once I fell asleep at the wheel, I was so tired from my travels. I suddenly felt a hard whack on my forehead which woke me up. I was in the car alone. I had no idea what it was, but I said, Thank You.

I graduated and had a baby, one of my dreams come true. But postpartum depression hit me, and my life slowly fell apart.  I lay awake at night feeling that I would die.

Now, while I was going through this, I was reading. I was praying. I was down on my knees. I was imagining, maybe not “intentionally”, but in my desperate hour, of a greater life. I had no idea how that would come to pass. I felt hopeless and lost. Nor was I willing at the time to change anything – I was married and that was that. I appreciated what I had. But I felt stuck, terrified.

It wasn’t until I planted those seeds unwittingly and said a strange, meditative prayer over my own “inner field” that something shifted for me. I prayed for the kind of relationship I wanted, the kind of environment for my children, the kind of creative life I wanted to explore, the feeling of freedom and honesty and love, things I was willing to fight for.

A few months later, I got some help. First, medical. Then, emotional. Always, spiritual. Six months later, I met a man who would change things forever. I moved out and got a place of my own. I joined the theatre and had fun. My world was never the same.

Those seeds were planted when I felt lost at sea, with no land in sight. I had no idea how I would manifest those things, I only felt them in my heart and saw them in my mind.

I believe faith brought them to me. Yes, I worked for it, I moved, I took a stand. But what moved me? What brought those people into my life?  I believe Christ – the Light in all of us – knows the way.

The Holy Spirit dwells in your heart and responds to your every request. You have to be willing to go there. It wasn’t until I fell apart that I opened my arms up wide. Surrendered my old ways. Prayed. Freed myself from the confines of the small table I had set for myself, and instead sat down with those sent for me at God’s Great Buffet.

My life is different today. I have everything in truth I wished for. And I still dream of more. I’m not always satisfied. I sometimes fall down or feel a sense of sacrifice. There are still bigger dreams to live. But my family is safe. Sacred. Perfect for me. And I have the freedom to go beyond what I know today.

In time I will open my arms even wider, perhaps my largest wings yet. Today I pray for this. Let’s see what faith can do.   Let’s see what my open heart and mind can let in.

Faith is the elixir that allows Love’s Light to shine. It is true. It is not belief. It is knowledge unseen. Purpose grown wide and strong. Deliverance.

Faith is not wishful thinking.  It is the miraculous reinvention of your life. It is the perfect answer to the quiet question of your heart, or to your deepest darkest hour. But you have to let it in. You have to expect that your answer will come, and move with faith in its sure direction.

 Life is full of surprises. And in my darkest hour, the light has always shone the brightest.

A man can move a boulder up a hill

But

Faith moves mountains.

What does faith mean to you? What does a miracle take to make it to you or through you? If you could change one thing, and have one ounce of faith that it was a possibility, what would it be?

Miracle 17: “A Miracle Requires Work”

This miracle came last night during a conversation with my friend, Dominic Castanza. I decided to let him have full reign and express his miracle to me.  Here are his words, formatted for this blog. Miracle 17 of  Krista’s “30 Days of Miracles 2012”.  Pictures by Krista Moore.

by Dominic Castanza

“A miracle requires work. It takes energy. You have to put something in first. It doesn’t just happen. It may take days, weeks, months, years for that energy to build before the miracle gets released. But once it’s released, you can’t stop it – you have to allow it to take its path.

British Virgin Islands "the Baths"  Krista Moore

Ancient boulders, “The Baths” British Virgin Islands.

Like pushing a boulder up a hill, the first portion requires work.  But once you are at the top and  release the boulder, it rolls down the hill, and releases a miracle, but that miracle cannot be controlled. Because in itself, a miracle can never be controlled. If it could, it wouldn’t be a miracle. That’s the beauty of a miracle.

It’s like finding love in the wrong places. Or seeing a unique plant amongst others. Or a father/daughter moment. It  just happens.  But everything starts at some point. It has to have a beginning. And whether or not you planted it, or are a part of someone else’s plan, it just happens. You just happen to be in the line of fire when that sucker rolls down the hill!

You may think you’re creating that miracle, or asking for that miracle alone. But it may be multiple people feeding that miracle, and everyone experiences it differently. More than one person can start it, or contribute to its making.

Let’s say I just nudged it one way, and another person just pushed a little differently.  It requires work, but the work may not come from just me alone, it may come from many people from many angles, and it could feed many others still that you will never see or know.

In this multi-parallel universe, every turn that the miracle takes, takes you somewhere else. It is infinite. Eternal.

We are all connected.  And how we build that miracle or experience one, it’s always there, you just have to open your eyes and find it.

You may think you are pushing that boulder up the hill all by yourself. But once its released there was a few others that were helping you. there were a lot of other people that contributed to that miracle happening. You have an awakening. An epiphany.

DSC00671 With a miracle – when it happens – everything becomes clear. Before that happens, everything’s cloudy, everything’s hard, everything requires work.

When it does happen, the joy and energy that comes out of it – you know when it happens – that’s why it’s so beautiful.  If you knew it was about to happen, why would you do all that work in the first place? If there was an instant pay-off,  you wouldn’t bother.

That miracle may not be for me, it mDSC00669ay be  for the other people working on it. If it were just for myself, I may want to release the boulder right now, but other people are not ready for that one miracle at that moment. But for some strange reason I cannot explain, I still have to work for it.

When the little moments happen, I realize I did something right.

But I do know that a miracle doesn’t just happen all by itself. If I sit on my hands and do nothing, nothing happens. I’ve gotta do work, I have to be accountable.

If you want love, you gotta know how to love yourself.

If you want to know sadness, you gotta know pain.

If you want to know life, you gotta know death.

Life is hard. Nothing is easy.

Being miserable is not doing anything. Not allowing the miracle to happen. But it could be a time-out.

A miracle has to be a part of you. You have to be a participant, not just an observer. You have to work for it, love it, embrace it, let it in.  And when you do, when it happens, your eyes are opened.  Your job then is to keep your eyes open and notice it.

For some it may show up as a simple thing, for others it can be a mind-blowing event, like an “Awakening.”  Like a firework going off.  You know it’s something special, something shared, something that was there for you to experience, enjoy, take in… a cherished moment for a lifetime.”

–  by Dominic Castanza

 

Thank you, Dom!

My response came in Miracle 18: “What Faith Means to Me”

 

What is the miracle to you? Do you think you have to work for it? What is your part in making miracles?  Do you let the miracle come to you?