Bud Opening – Photo by Patty O’Hearn Kickam 2007
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
– Anais Nin
Today’s miracle was taken from an audio that came through the process of forgiveness and allowing. This is a transcription of that audio. The audio is available to those who signed up for “30 Days of Miracles” on the “Subscriber Audio” page.
Today I awoke and came outside. I’m sitting out on the lounger and the sun is rising over my house, and I realize there is a part of me that has numbed out, that is afraid to open my heart again.
There is a part of me that gives everything in a moment and then pulls everything away. When things don’t work out the way I want them to, or a person fails me in some way, or I fail myself, or even question my faith (is this just randomness and mistakes?)…
On a deeper level I know this is not true, because I see the miracles that happen in relationship. And when everything seems to be going wrong, when there are tears and heartache, pain and separation, when I start to imagine what the other person is thinking without really knowing what is true, and then defend myself in my mind by shutting down… This is a mistake we all make at times when life is difficult and hard. And when my fragile heart is just too afraid to open again, like that tiny bud that is so tight it cannot possibly fathom the light.
Today I open myself to a miracle, that that tiny bud inside of me and inside of you, might feel the warmth of the light upon it, and DARE to raise its head and open again knowing that the beauty and the love and the peacefulness and the happiness that comes from opening ourselves to joy, to love, no matter how hard they may be – that those openings and those gifts are worth it.
Our human mind closes down when it is not safe to love – we might get disappointed, or someone may turn around and say something that we don’t like or didn’t expect, or they may go away, or we may decide it’s too late, and that we have to go our own way. These things are not what love is all about. And yet, at the same time, the world is the way the world is…
A miracle is the forgiveness that happens regardless what the external circumstances looks like, that no matter what we’ve decided to do or say, or not do, or not say, at the deepest level, the sun is rising over us, at the deepest level the bud is opening, at the deepest level that person loves us, and at the deepest level we know that love is real and true, golden and pure.
Our human minds may not allow us to achieve love the way we would like to in this world, but when we get a glimpse of it, we know that its true – it’s worth fighting for, it’s worth rising up for, it’s worth forgiving and asking for a miracle instead. How that may look we do not know, whether it’s a conversation, a letter that we write to ourselves or to another, a prayer in the hidden parts of our heart, walk on the beach, a sacred trek, or just a simple moment of forgiveness and curiosity, open to the answer that we don’t have, knowing that any answer that we come up with is just a defense.
Love is sacred and true, no matter what the world looks like, no matter what we do.
Keep hold of this today, as I do, as I feel the sun on my face, knowing that the miracle of love will always rise again in our hearts, and that our minds, too, will open like a lantern to receive it, and to allow it, that deeper connection that we all crave, and that we all know in some secret place in our hearts still exists and always will.
For this I say,
What is your miracle of love? Who can you forgive today? Can you forgive yourself? Can you allow that tiny bud in your heart to open once more to love, and allow Love’s Light to shine on it again?