Miracle 28: “The Miracle is ME!”

 

krista red april cropped and large 2008This morning I had a crisis of faith.  Given I can feel great one day, and not so good the next, I wondered if I would ever solve the puzzle of my own mental dance.  I wondered if I’m just making all this stuff up, and nothing I am saying is real.  That’s the real mind f-*-#-*k the ego does.  Yes, dear, you are entirely wrong, and crazy to boot.

So, I lay there for some while, endeavouring not to do anything, deciding if I just stay in bed, I will challenge God to do something – poke me with a big, fat stick, or take me out.  He didn’t.  But I did rise up.  Why?

I thought to myself:  My happiness, my energy, my action does NOT require my belief.  I simply need to do what I know works. That’s it.

I happen to believe in Spirit. That word I cannot be offended by – cannot dissolve into a teary mess if challenged by atheists or my own internal bug.  No, I can shake hands with Spirit. I KNOW Spirit. I do not need to defend anything.  Spirit is I Am, and I see it in everyone.  IT is what arises in me when I get out of bed.  Like right now, I said, as I stood there contemplating what all this means (I know, I think too much).  My mother would give me a swift kick of “tough love” and say go help someone, stop thinking about yourself. That would shame anyone into doing the laundry or laughing with the kids.

The truth is, I know what I need. As glorious as the summer is, it is not my sweet time.  I love the fall (I know, crazy). I love the wild breezes, the dust getting kicked up and travelling to New York on the fly.  I love the surprise of it all. Languid and limp? Not me!

So what does all this mean? What’s the miracle here, Krista dear?  I’ll tell you.  It’s ME!  I decided to change my mind.  This conundrum of what I believe has led me to realize that though I believe many things, that’s not what gets me up in the morning.

Here’s what does:

  • Laughing with you
  • Working on a project I love
  • Working with people in a circle, on a plane, in the rain
  • Climbing tall buildings in a single bound
  • Grabbing a coffee before cracking my books open
  • Getting on a train (GO Train in my case)
  • Going downtown
  • Bright lights, big city love
  • Circle surprises and energy rising
  • Laughing til my face hurts
  • Praying with gratitude (not requests)
  • Believing in myself
  • Holding a vision so big it almost bursts
  • Sharing that vision with you and
  • Watching your eyes light up

So that’s what got me up this morning, and now I am at Starbucks.  Starbucks in Scarborough, which could just as easily be New York or anywhere on earth.  It doesn’t matter. The music fills me, the Chai tea with half and half, honey, cinnamon and nutmeg, banana bread with two hunks of butter and no apologies.  Typing wildly to you and being happy, completely transformed.

Completely – Transformed.

That’s it.

The miracle for today.

What’s yours?

Love,

Me xo

 

 

3 Responses to Miracle 28: “The Miracle is ME!”

  1. Marion Morrish says:

    Krista – my miracle today was YOUR Miracle #28. And the miracle is YOU!!!

  2. Ohhh… dear Krista – Summer isn’t my time, either. I normally take Summer off completely to focus on my children as I did this Summer, but I also did a heck of a lot of “unfocused” writing.

    I am trusting the Fall will bring all that gobbledy gook into focus.

    Before your email came in to remind me to pop over here, I had written one of my Women in Literary History posts, something I haven’t done in at least eight weeks.

    It felt so good to write about California Gold Rush writer Dame Shirley!!

    Remind me to tell you sometime about the theater game I made up and played with my cast of Miracle on 34th Street. :~)

  3. Christina Minor says:

    I feel that you’re a part of my miracles, just running into your page and learning all about your life within the Miracle paths. You motivate me to look within my self and to create my own miracles. Thank you for making me realize that we all have our own miracles, you just need to look within and find them. To love unconditionally, have faith and believe, and to see past our human flaws. Know that we can accomplish what ever we set our minds too!

    Christina

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