Monthly Archives: December 2012

The Desire for Freedom

It occurs to me that I am a very fortunate person. Not just materially – though all my needs are taken care of and always have been – but my soul needs, or the needs of my emotional and mental self, my Spirit. This to me, is the essence of Freedom.

A few years ago, well more like fifteen, this was not necessarily so. It took great hardship emotionally and spiritually before I was able to let go of what was not in my best interest, which led me to the freedom I have now.

I remember working in an office job in my early 20s and wondering how I was going to get out of there. I had everything to look forward to but no idea how to make a living or a life outside of that office environment. In my heart and soul I was an artist, a writer, a secret truth-sayer and heart-soother. I loved to hear people’s stories and help them see themselves more truly, to help them break out of their own self-made prisons.  But here was I, in the same boat really, though I had a vision of a distant shore…

In that space of Mind-knowingness I spoke of things to come as if they were real. My journals were full of heartache and visions of surrender and life as it was supposed to be.

At the height and heart of it: Freedom.

How did I get here from there?  That makes me laugh when I think of it because it is a metaphysical impossibility! I always was here, I just had to shed a few layers of stuff before I was able to really surface and trust.

Now I feel that I am knowing this from a lifetime of experience, both of the physical/material suppression of trying to survive and “make a living” or “figure things out”, to the reality of being exactly where I am for a reason, and walking in the grace of knowing the past is nothing to the freedom of what I am Being in the present.

In other words: Here I Am.

No other words can describe it I guess, the power of when I just “Show Up”.  When I have the skill and knowing and courage to speak from this place without any care for what comes next or who is judging, or any other context.

The only sacrifice of freedom is letting go of what you don’t want

How can you get to this place of deep knowing and trust?  Try gliding into it with razer-sharp smoothness, balancing it on your tippy-toes while making something for dinner, or telling the truth to someone you love.  Try finding those who are sympathetic to your cause and can point you in the right direction – those who say, “Yes… All-right, and… I can help.”

Confess your Cause to someone, step into the unknown and give up something unwanted. Take a leap into far-distant futures not yet born but conceived in your all-knowing Minds-Eye.  Take a birds-eye view and deliberate on something you have never thought of before.

What is this string that is binding you? Guilt? Cut it. Melt it. Sell it. Meld it. Tie it up in a nice green bow and give it back to where it came from. Thank it, forgive it, walk with it, talk with it, carry it, say you’re sorry, and move on.

You don’t have to live in bondage anymore – you don’t have to live your life alone, or in sorrow. You are not alone. You are never alone.

What is freedom then? The recognition that you can have what you want, but better still, that you already have it on some deep level, and when you get that, the real surprise is…. You ARE it.

And that, as they say is I Am.

Amen.

 

P.S. Do you have a story about how you lept out of bondage to a life of greater freedom? Or would you like to take a first step? Share your thoughts and insights below. Being in a community of like-minded is a giant first (or third, or second) step! Write your thoughts below. 🙂

The Energy of BEING

What does it feel like to just Be?

A dear friend of mine, Santari Green reactivated that very feeling in me recently. I was struggling with the idea of controlling events, planning and shaping the future. Not quite “showing up to the party of life” as it were.

I ran an energy experiment in my body. I had been feeling a weakness on my right side. First I tune in and become fully present, listening to what is happening, what it is “saying to me”. Then I respond from a deeply honest place and a powerful “intunement” rises within me, runs through my right side and  fills my entire body and mind.  I am sparkling and alive!

 Free….

 

Now that’s results. Being equals doing. First the being, then the doing. The energy animates me to get whatever I need to do done in an energy of possibility and joy. Nothing feels impossible to me. I am leaping for joy!

I also know that if I do this my body will heal naturally and I will be more effective and magnetic in everything I do. My only job then is to remember to tune in, listen and respond from this deeply powerful place. To Be the Presence.

He then said, “What if you were like this all the time?”  Hmmmm… some pretty fine words to ponder. What if I could be that powerful, all the time… Why wait for an event?, or another reason to feel that good, that alive, that “on” without trying? Why not show up to the party of life as the gift ALL THE TIME…?

Let me first BE and see what the energy brings, if it feels inevitable like a hose running smoothly over the surface of the grass, raising vibrations, raising the green pigment to the surface and shining its way through the breeze. Thirst quenched, satisfied, dripping with possibility. Mmmmm…..

Do you remember the Mmmmmmsss….?  I miss the Mmmmmmmmmmsss.  Well, Here I Am again!

Thank you, Santari, for a wonderful carpet ride of magic possibility. Can’t wait to share more dreams and vision, wait! more possibilities – no, wait! More Beingness, Power and Presence, right here, right now, with You.

AMEN!

 

P.S What does BEING “do” for you?  How can you “Be” more often, more still, more present, more powerful? What would happen if you could be this way all the time? 

Write your answers below. 🙂

Letting Go of Worrying

 

One of the most difficult things we can do is let go.  Let go of control, let go of fear, let go of expectations. Let go of heartache, let go of traditions, let go of old habits, old needs, old desires. My most difficult feat to ‘let go’ of is of worrying.

I have made a lifetime habit of worrying. It is something ‘in my nature’ I have been known to say (defend). My husband lifts an eyebrow whenever I go down that old road again. Or when the “What if what if what if” train has left the station.

The truth is, until I know something is going to work out (after it’s over!), it takes a lot of my energy to make my brain ‘Surrender Dorothy’.  I have spent my whole life preparing, envisioning, rehearsing, planning, predicting and even pleasing.  It is very difficult for me to say No to worrying.

I have made a pact with myself that I will allow only so much time for preparation and ‘dwelling’.  Enough to know that what’s done is done.  Good enough.  The rest is not up to me. Call it a deep breath, call it God, or ‘going with the flow’:  it is my anchor when all traditional systems fail, or when plans are a-go and the course is set. Once I have done my part, my job is to let go, step back and Relax…

Imagine whatever you are worrying about is like a dark, circuitous maze. You are hiding in the bushes, wondering what lurks behind every corner, wondering where the light is, the entrance, or the exit.  Nothing makes sense.

Now imagine you are rising above the maze in a ball of golden light. Suddenly everything appears smaller, and you can see the edges of the town, and the gardens, and the houses, and the streets, the hillsides, and beyond.  You can see the entrance and exit to the maze, too, but you don’t need them anymore. Because you have risen above them.

 

That is what it is like to walk in a state of grace. To know you are a part of something much larger, and that you don’t have to work so hard to make everything happen. Do your part, do what you can, and imagine good things happening to you and others. And if you can’t do that, imagine you are taken up by something that can, and that will give you the peaceful perspective and strength you need.

I have done this many, many times before a stressful event or worrisome situation, and always, without exception, one of two things happens:

1) Everything works out exactly as I hoped or better, or

2) The thing I thought I wanted or was so concerned about didn’t work out the way I wanted; but something BETTER came along instead.

And inevitably, this is how I felt:

RELIEF! Gratitude and Release. AWE almost, that when I let go, something good always comes eventually, and, arguably, all is good exactly as it is. 

I just have to get out of my own way!  (Thanks, guys).

Amen.