Letting Go of Worrying

 

One of the most difficult things we can do is let go.  Let go of control, let go of fear, let go of expectations. Let go of heartache, let go of traditions, let go of old habits, old needs, old desires. My most difficult feat to ‘let go’ of is of worrying.

I have made a lifetime habit of worrying. It is something ‘in my nature’ I have been known to say (defend). My husband lifts an eyebrow whenever I go down that old road again. Or when the “What if what if what if” train has left the station.

The truth is, until I know something is going to work out (after it’s over!), it takes a lot of my energy to make my brain ‘Surrender Dorothy’.  I have spent my whole life preparing, envisioning, rehearsing, planning, predicting and even pleasing.  It is very difficult for me to say No to worrying.

I have made a pact with myself that I will allow only so much time for preparation and ‘dwelling’.  Enough to know that what’s done is done.  Good enough.  The rest is not up to me. Call it a deep breath, call it God, or ‘going with the flow’:  it is my anchor when all traditional systems fail, or when plans are a-go and the course is set. Once I have done my part, my job is to let go, step back and Relax…

Imagine whatever you are worrying about is like a dark, circuitous maze. You are hiding in the bushes, wondering what lurks behind every corner, wondering where the light is, the entrance, or the exit.  Nothing makes sense.

Now imagine you are rising above the maze in a ball of golden light. Suddenly everything appears smaller, and you can see the edges of the town, and the gardens, and the houses, and the streets, the hillsides, and beyond.  You can see the entrance and exit to the maze, too, but you don’t need them anymore. Because you have risen above them.

 

That is what it is like to walk in a state of grace. To know you are a part of something much larger, and that you don’t have to work so hard to make everything happen. Do your part, do what you can, and imagine good things happening to you and others. And if you can’t do that, imagine you are taken up by something that can, and that will give you the peaceful perspective and strength you need.

I have done this many, many times before a stressful event or worrisome situation, and always, without exception, one of two things happens:

1) Everything works out exactly as I hoped or better, or

2) The thing I thought I wanted or was so concerned about didn’t work out the way I wanted; but something BETTER came along instead.

And inevitably, this is how I felt:

RELIEF! Gratitude and Release. AWE almost, that when I let go, something good always comes eventually, and, arguably, all is good exactly as it is. 

I just have to get out of my own way!  (Thanks, guys).

Amen.

 

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