Monthly Archives: July 2013

Hope, Meet Faith

stock-video-15524888-beach-montageThere is not much sense in having hope for something, if we don’t have faith.  If I hope the future will get better, but don’t really believe it will, and don’t act on my faith, nothing happens.  The miracle is in you – remember?  It’s a gift, but it has to be activated by your recognition and faithfulness in it, like receiving and opening a present.

There have been times when I lost connection to the faith inside of me.  I still had hope, but I lacked the faith to keep going.  After a run of success and new opportunity, my well seemed to dry up.  I stopped doing what I came to do, and started worrying again.  I temporarily stopped believing in myself.

I was also frightened that I couldn’t do what I had begun to successfully do, like it was some kind of trick or magic show that couldn’t be repeated, or that it was just luck or by accident (it wasn’t). Like I was a participant rather than the magician.

I forgot to invite the magic in, Faith, to wave my wand and make it so.

Luckily God does not put us on this planet alone (some people think that’s the problem, but I’m not one of them!).

Thank God for true friends, seers and knowers who see the light in you.  Thank God you are not alone and that your will is not just your own. That others see it and feel it and know it too.  And even if they don’t, God sees you.  If you question yourself, your Friends will question that doubter inside of you.

We are given more than one Friend.  Hope is one.  Faith another.

Hope says it can be done.

Faith says, it WILL be done.

And Love says… It IS DONE!

The first is necessary to even see what is possible, to lift us from the wreckage of where we were and see another shore, another promise to reach for.

The second teaches us to be disciplined in our actions and words, and to be careful what we let into our life so we don’t get distracted, or worse, lose our will altogether.  There are tricksters on the path as well. Faith keeps us focused so we won’t go wrong.

The third is the miracle of love which transforms possibility into reality through the power of God inside of us and those we love.  With Love, no hope or faith are necessary.  It is already true. Like the birth of a baby, it is already manifest within just a moment or two since inception, or however long it takes, to show up in our reality.  We know it is true, because we feel it inside of us!  It is only a matter of months for this miracle to show us that our hope and faith were justified, and our love is forever true.

What gives us faith when hope is dwindling?  A knock on the door.  A surprise visit.  A stone found on the shore that reminds us of something. A voice remembered once stolen from our memory and replaced with another.  The silent one who comes in and teaches us to begin again. A step in the right direction.

Never give up trying, never forget what you’ve been given.  Never stop walking toward something you know in your heart is good.

We can get lost in the deepest well, or wade out too far in the ocean.  We have to remember where our legs are, and where we have traction to move.  We can only swim so long.  We have to get up and walk the path we are on.

How do we do this?

We can COMMAND our fear to step aside. 

We can ASK for a greater understanding. 

We can DO what needs to be done.

Our gifts are inside us. But they need to be activated by hope and faith to be given in the way that gives us back everything we gave.

You see, we cannot truly be happy until we give what is inside of us – our truest, most sacred gifts – ourselves.

And when we do that, the most amazing things happen.  We not only have what we want, but we are now the wayshowers of hope and faith others can rely on to access those gifts themselves.

Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where Love Begins

This week I am learning a lot about relationships, especially the one I have with myself.  One of my greatest teachers is my husband, Steve, who reminds me constantly what it’s all about.

Steve is a happy guy.  He doesn’t need much to make him happy, and he loves me unconditionally. I can’t tell you the number of screw-ups I’ve made over the years and he hasn’t batted an eye.  Sure, he loses his cool on occasion, but only when I am immensely stubborn and his back is to the wall. 

As a woman, my expectations at times are enormous, and my internal pressure cooker is often ready to blow.  When he sees me doing too much, or being hard on myself, he is the first to say, “Just go with the flow, mon'” (with his usual Bob Marley impression).  As he listens to all my concerns patiently and without fear, he reminds me there is nothing to fear, and to stop trying so hard to please everyone.  Just do it for yourself!  In other words: “Love yourself first.”

 Steve doesn’t care what other people think.  That irritates some (including me at times, who cares enormously).  But I admire and am amazed by his ability to let the water fall off his back.  He isn’t pretending either.  He really doesn’t let things bother him too much (except for politics).   As he hums in the kitchen (out of tune at times!) making his usual feast, his spirit is buoyed by the fact that life is good and he is happy no matter what.  I shake my head in amazement just thinking about that.

If I could be born with a brain that doesn’t think too much, doesn’t worry, and doesn’t challenge myself constantly with invincible feats, I would be happy too. But that isn’t the answer.  I was born happy.  And my worrying and need for approval didn’t come from my birth, it came from life and lessons learned that need to be unlearned.  

But even Steve would say – don’t make it so hard. It’s easy!  Just relax and be yourself.

Yesterday I was in my garden, which I have neglected again — a constant reminder of insufficiency.  I struggled to feel good about myself in the face of so many weeds and  self-neglect.  Yes, that is how I saw it.  A metaphor for me.  Rushing to quickly fix everything and make it look good so no one will notice.  But what about my self?  If I am worrying too much and doing it to look good for the neighbours, who will care in the end?  It is myself I must face in the mirror.  Appearances mean nothing if I am not doing it to nurture myself.  Why not just be with nature and relax? Why not just be here with it while no one is watching?  Can I accept that?

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A beautiful flower emerges when we let it

So I began pulling a strangling vine off of a nearby bush. That in itself was satisfying.  And I breathed. It doesn’t all have to be done today, I said to myself.  I also nurtured myself by doing a little at a time, and not over-doing.  Doing is a toxin to avoid being. 

Just Be!  he also said. (That too makes me fume at times).

But he was right.

As I lay in bed thinking about all of this, yes thinking, he is sleeping peacefully.  I could learn a lot from him. 

But in the meantime, I’m going to love Krista as much as I can.

Amen.

 

P.S. Thank you, Steve.

Amen.

The Power of Community

One of the most powerful challenges and blessings of my life is foregoing my self-confessed inclination towards “artistic solitude” for the greater power and purpose of community.  The inward gives meaning and identity; but the outer shoulders the deepest burdens, and carries the greatest visions of the individual and the whole forward.  Greater still, community creates something neither one, in his solitude, could have ever created or imagined alone.

Anything I have ever done worth anything at all has been done in partnership or community.  Anything I ever imagined or dreamed was only ever accomplished by the connection and commitment to and with others for a greater purpose beyond my individual identity.

buddhist monk walkingIn the Shamanistic or Native traditions, there is the wisdom gained through the sole venturer’s “Vision Quest”, a rite of passage to gain spiritual insight or understanding. The wanderer, as in The Man on the Road, ventures out to discover himself, and more importantly, his vision, mission or purpose on earth.  Oftentimes, this time of solitude in nature or on an open road is a testing ground for his or her strength and commitment to the quest.  It also asks to dispel the idea of “failure” of all other mechanisms of survival and success the wanderer had hitherto employed. In other words, his world temporarily falls apart, and what he is left with are the truths and treasures buried deep within.  These he carries forward for the good of all.

As a writer, I am deeply drawn within. On my spiritual quest(s), which never seem to end!, I coil into the heart of the matter, encountering both darkness and light, possibility and failure.  The true test is whether I can bring what I learn to higher ground, to share with my fellow travelers.  At some point, I am joined by those who are walking this path with me, who either need my services, or who provide support to uphold mine in truth.  Each becomes a net for the other, on the deep dive of the soul.  Knowing that we are not alone, we can let go.

Wisdom alone is no wisdom at all. If we are to grow, we must share it and vet it with one another.

I was deeply challenged by the I AM Discourses of Saint Germain received in 1932, which I read on the plane coming to and fro from Boston.  My heart and soul were lifted by the declarations of strength and power emanating from those words of the saints and masters.  “I AM the Beloved. I AM the Resurrection and the Life.”  To say these words, is to declare your freedom.  But to seek truth without extending it, sharing it, living it in relation to others, is not worth the trek.  I know Saint Germain was not intending for us to be sole vision questers declaring our omnipotent power over ourselves and our world.  He was suggesting we claim the power of God within, and not seek it elsewhere.  Brilliant words and wisdom which are certainly based on love of self, God and others, though more from compassion and mental discipline, than a wider sense of true inter-dependence, community and sharing.

What I have learned on my journey is that every ounce of wisdom I have gained has been born of and given in relationship with God and others, as an expression of Union, or overcoming the separation of the self.  To keep it to myself would be very difficult indeed.

Community is to COMMUNE with others.  To identify the unity of our spirits, our sameness, and the truth that is our home.  Once we have entered the cave of our own awareness, we must build a cabin large enough to contain the whole, if we are to live in love, wisdom and harmony in this world.

As I emerge from my soul ventures, I long to share with others. I long to hear the conviction and courage that is incited by conversation, and sometimes by wordless understanding.  That is communion, or community at its most sacred.  Just as Tibetan monks or initiates challenge and question each other or their teachers, we too can hold our truths or solitary flames to the light of greater community.

Sometimes I walk my own way sure of my solitary path; other times I am honed and convicted, made clearer by the connection.

Community may come from a church, a synagogue, a sports team, or a mountain top with the birds.  I have found community in partnerships with loved ones, perfect strangers and online self-forming groups who gather of like mind.  I have also found it in yoga studios, and in circles I have formed out of sheer intention and will.

However you find community, I encourage you to reach out.  And if you have not yet begun your vision quest, or found your true purpose, community is one way to enter in and discover what yours may be all about.

toronto labyrinth community

Toronto Labyrinth Community

Like a giant circle or labyrinth, we may walk to the centre in a circuitous path, and we may spend some time alone receiving our answers before we venture back out.  But if we notice as we go, others are walking the same path. Their discoveries may differ, but the path leads to the same goal.  And if we fall back, someone will be walking behind us to give us strength, or ahead of us to spur us on.

In Jesus’ words in A Course in Miracles, “Salvation is in your brother,” meaning in our ability to love and forgive, and to receive from others.  As I say, “Love is a shared reality. You cannot love alone. It must be shared if you are to know anything at all.”

Thank you for sharing and venturing with me!

Amen.

 

Krista

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Man on the Road

Courage only exists to dismantle fear.  If there is nothing to fear, we do not need courage.  But we do fear, and so we ask for what we need temporarily to show us we were wrong.

This is a story of a man walking down a road.

A man is walking down a road he has never been. It is dark.  He will likely stop for directions, if a house is lit, or he will rely on himself, or perhaps a flashlight.  Some things may jump out at him.

It is not comforting to stay in the dark, so he may seek out internal guidance, to ask which way to go.  He may be told to stop, or turn left or right.

If he keeps going the same way he will experience more fear because he didn’t listen and now is very much alone. He has no idea where he is going, and every noise bothers him. He has nothing to judge it against other than it is “not me” and so it is very scary. Even a bird in a tree will make him jump.

But if he sits down for a moment and asks, he will do one of two things:  He will either get up and leave and run fast back from where he came, trying to go where it is safe and known, or he will be told something new he hadn’t thought of.  This will be like a door appearing out of nowhere, something specific he can do, or something that leads him somewhere real and new.

"Open Wide Your Heart" website Mark Mallett

If he goes through the door, and feels the light of it (though he still may feel fear), he will make it to the other side and all will appear lit and new.  It will be as if the path he was on disappeared or transformed, or it suddenly made sense to him for the first time.  Also, there will be a hand, and he will not be alone.

What was scary before now seems just foolish and silly, something a child does when he is alone and protecting himself from the dark.

But now that he sees the door, and the path and the hand, all lit like never before – he has no choice but to step through or play the fool.

If he retreats back into the dark, it will likely not be as scary this time, it will just feel as if he is wasting his time.  He will now be more impatient with himself for not grabbing onto that hand and lifting himself out.  He may even shout profanities. Or he may even fall on his knees.

This is all silly and sad because there is no need to complicate things. It is only because he thinks he knows already that he won’t ask and receive.

For a moment, he has to admit, “Clearly, I don’t!”

So he asks again.

This time the door appears and light floods him.  It startles him a second time and he may experience fear because now he wants to be on top of it, to understand it.  It appears like he can command it, and yet he doesn’t know how it got there. But it is.  If he can’t control how this happens, how can he control what it does?

This frightens him even more, because now the implications of this light that comes is mind-boggling.  If he can’t predict what it does or where it might take him, he must shut it down.  It is too scary to comprehend.

The light seems to go on and off again as the man challenges God for a second or third round.  There is no end to the light, but he is growing very tired.  It is tiring to put up this front.

Then a wise man comes.  He is holding a lantern in his hand and standing on the road. He asks the tired man where he is going.  The man admits, “I don’t know.”  The tired man tries to explain himself but the more he tries to explain, the more he realizes it makes no sense and gives up.

The wise man laughs.

The wise man is real to him. He comforts the man. Offers a hand , but the confused man is still clinging to the dark.

The wise man tells him stories of another place, and the tired man says, “Oh, I know! I’ve been there once or twice.”

The wise man asks, “Then why did you come back?”

“Because I was looking for myself.”

The wise man responds, “Oh, I know. But did you realize you are going in circles and you’ve been this way before?”

“It couldn’t be!” The man protests, “I couldn’t see, and it all seemed new and frightening to me.”

“That’s funny,” the wise man said. “That bird’s been yelling at you since round three. When are you going to listen to him?”

“I didn’t realize he was talking to me. I couldn’t see!”

“And what are all these supplies on your back?” the wise man pointed and the other man sat back on a rock.

“Oh, I was hungry so I brought enough to eat for three weeks. And a knife and other camping supplies just in case, to protect myself so I could eat and sleep.”

“Have you slept?” the wise man asked, pulling the lantern up to his face.

“Not really.”

“Did you not notice that innkeeper at mile one waving at you to stop and eat?”

“I thought he was a thief and so I ran into the trees.”

The wise man just shook his head and let the silence speak for itself.

The tired man stood up, and the wise man asked him directly,

“Now, are you ready to come with me?”

Still, the man shrunk back, unbelievably, and dug his heels into the path.

“Really?” the wise man asked, “You don’t trust me?”

“How do I know you are not a thief, too?”

The wise man set his lantern down. And then he said,

“Here, take it. And go your way. Take as long as you need. But the light may not last long, and it is very dark indeed.”

“I’ll take my chances” the other man said and took his leave.

The man went on his way and thought about what the wise man said, and the bird, and the trees, and noticed the lantern was not as bright as it should have been. And he wondered if the wise man took the light with him.  But he was nowhere to be seen.

Huh! he sighed and sat for a time contemplating everything. He wondered if he would come back. Could he have been wrong about everything?  This is all not very flattering, he thought, and his shoes were beginning to leak.

Soon he wouldn’t be able to walk, he worried. Soon, he would have to crawl his way out of this giant circle. Or climb his way out! Maybe there was a wall, or was it some kind of giant trap?

Maybe this was a test of strength and he could still succeed. He decided to himself, “I will keep going at any cost. I will not give up even if this tiny light goes out. And I’ll have no thanks to give that man, either. I’ll show him.”

“And maybe”, he thought, “the wise man will even be proud of me. Or maybe there was somebody else on this path. They would come soon.”

But nobody came. Not for a long, long time.  And the man thought God was punishing him, and wasting his time. “Clearly, I am a miserable sinner!” he exclaimed, “and there is no hope for me!”

Where did this come from? Grief had suddenly stricken him and he bent up on the ground.

He cried it out and gnashed his teeth and cried out even more. Angry fists pounded the air and his stomach growled.

But who is listening? Who cares now? The bird was silent, and the man, the friend, nowhere to be found.

This isn’t how it was supposed to be! he thought. He remembered when the light had come how it filled him with dance and song. But he didn’t know if it would last so he returned quickly and came back around. Now there is nowhere, and nothing at all.

“Clearly, clearly I was wrong!” he cried out one last time.

The trees moved and a bird suddenly flew out and landed on his nose.  He startled and jumped, struck the air and then stopped and waited for a sound.

“Are you ready now?” he heard.

The light had come.  He awoke with a start to the sound of music, and people laughing and and singing.  He was under a blanket as if asleep, but just steps from a door slightly ajar. The light filled the room as he cracked the door open even more.

A giant room opened up to his sight and was filled with good cheer. Women laughing and dancing, children playing and running about, men eating and talking and whistling on the way in and out.  Like a circus or parade.  He stood dumfounded and rubbed his eyes.  He could not believe nor remember how he got there. No one had come for him, just that silly bird.

Then he remembered.

Up on the mantle he saw it. The lantern. Now with a glowing wick, and more lights glowing everywhere in the room. It looked like daylight though clearly he had been in the dark before.

He stepped forward and a woman ran over to him.

“Come!” she said. “We’ve been waiting for you.”  A giant bowl of soup she dished out with a ladle and gave him a spoon. The steam and smell reached his nose and lips.

He was sure this was heaven. And the man was still nowhere to be found.

The woman hovered round him again, “Darling, we were worried about you! You’d lost your way or your light had gone out.” She pointed to the mantle.

“But there was a man with me before, he would have come back. Did he?”

“What man, darling? This is where you live. Don’t you remember?  You set out to find something , but got lost in the woods. This bird found you, but now it is dead.”  She pointed to a bird that was now limp in a pale. The man turned white.

A bird found him? She must be crazy, or he is. How could this be? Oh! The bird, I killed it! He thought.

“No, there was a man on the road who was helping me, he gave me that lantern, but I didn’t believe him and then I took it and went on my own. I  never saw him again. Oh!” he cried again.

“Darling, this light is yours. You must have lost it in the night, or dropped it, and then found it again.  Clearly it is yours – your initials are at the bottom of it, see?”  He looked and saw the initials scrolled beneath the base. He didn’t recognize them or himself.

“But I told him to go away!  I wouldn’t listen to him, or myself, or that bird, or anyone!” He was delirious.  “I saw him, he was so real. And then he was gone.”

The man fell into despair.

“Darling,” she said again and wiped away his hair.  “That man is right here in front of me.  I see him as clear as day to night. You are here, my sweet. You are here!”

He wouldn’t believe her. How could this be?  An apparition came? That wise man was me?

She gave him some water and sent him back to bed. Clearly, he couldn’t see himself. She would love him back to health.

As the man returned to bed and accepted a gentle kiss from his wife, he stirred a bit and then had a gentle dream.

The sky poured open and the bird flew high overhead. It flew in circles round his head until it swooped down and then up and then disappeared into the heavens.

He was troubled then. Is that bird me, too? Or is someone trying to tell me something? Who is it that I am seeking? Where is it that I am glad and known?  My dear wife seems to know me, but who am I, really?  Please show me again, he thought.

Suddenly he felt a gentle tug in his head and a light he thought he had forgot filled him from head to toe.  He saw the bird again, resting on the hand of the man with the lantern.  He reached out to touch the wise man, and this time they clasped hands and stood directly in front of each other and smiled. He didn’t know who this was, but he was willing now.

Soon he found himself like the man with the lantern, walking in a miraculous field of golden lilies and birds of every colour flying overhead.  The trees were whispering to him and he was listening.  His heart was glad. There was no promise in him of tomorrow, and no plan of attack.  He just was, there, everywhere and everything. Resting in the universe of things.

The light was so strong but there was nothing to hold onto anymore, no lantern, no day or night. Everything was just shimmering and live in him. His heart was filled to bursting and he was not ready to come back down.  But something in him felt a presence all around him and a serene silence spoke to him that he could never speak of.  It was so great.

Do you see, now? 

Now go back, your wife needs you.

The man, if he could be, was dumfounded . How could I ever leave you, this place? This magnitude!

He grew momentarily upset.

The light is in you. Take it with you this time and don’t ever let it go.

“The lantern?”  The man asked, confused.

No. You.

Then he knew. When it is dark, ask the light to shine in You.

And then he laughed, because he heard to himself:

And the next time you meet yourself, say hello.

The man laughed and cried in gratitude and then he awoke.

He shook with happiness in his bed at what he had seen, heard and felt. Then he noticed his wife was in bed sleeping with him.  He curled up beside her and pulled his arms around her and drew her in closer. And then he slept for a long, long time.

And he never, ever walked alone.

 

Amen.

 

 

– by  Krista Moore

 

Miracles Show UP when YOU Do!

We have lift off!  Yesterday I felt more like a deflated balloon hovering close to the ground. A personal problem plagued me as I contemplated ad nauseum possible solutions.  Inspiration was a slow drip rather than a full wild water ride.  I had slowed down because my energy had been stopped up with too much thinking!!  Not enough being in the world!

I had to SHOW UP and change things around!

So…  I poured myself out, slowly at first, all the old crap and some good, honest insights.  I prayed for truth.  I gave it up and asked for a miracle.

As I sat under my beloved maple tree, the answer came to me in the form of a person come to pull me out of my misery!  What I thought was lost was found again.  Even though I still steamed and wanted to be in that hopeless state (at least sure of my unsureness), I was not yet willing to give up my defense.

Until I relented. Please, he said. Give up that.  Just for now.  Let’s just be here now.

Alright, I said.  (I didn’t think I could do it – or didn’t want to – I am pretty stubborn !).

But I did!

Toronto-20120613-00002

 

We had a glorious day of unexpected surprises and adventures, down by the lake on bikes, taking in the balmy floral breezes, riding high and low and everything in between.  I felt renewed and awakened. It was as if I had never been there before.  Everything flew through me, and I through it.  The balloon was in full dance again!  My string bounced playfully as I laughed and sighed and shook my head.

Wow, all this was waiting for me. I just had to say Yes!

 

 

More ways to “Show Up” for the miracles in today’s Video message from Krista :):

 

 

lights camera action (2)More Highlights and tips for really Showing UP!:

1. Be a participant! (not just an observer).

2. Be an actor. Play your part, whatever role is (even if you do it poorly!).

3. Be a director. Have a vision. (You can always change things around.)

4. Be an audience member. Appreciate the scenery, applaud the other actors, enjoy the scene as it plays out.

5. Be delicious! Be in the moment.

6. Serve it up! – use what you have and make something marvelous (even if the kitchen gets a little messy in the process ;).

7. Keep step, keep time. (Even if you trip or step on somebody’s toes!).

8. Be on vacation in your own life.  Taste it. Feel it. Touch it. LIVE it!

9. Miracles Show UP when YOU do! 

10. The Miracle IS You!

 

Amen!

 

Have you got a way to show up that I hadn’t thought of? Share it on the blog comments below. 🙂

 

This Bird wants to Soar!

I am living a blessed life.  I have everything I need. I have children who bless me every day and keep me focused on love.  I have a partner who loves and challenges me to be better.  I have a beautiful sanctuary space in my home just for me, which I share from time to time with those who love to partner with me.  I have a backyard that some believe is the garden of eden, with a pool.  My parents are still alive and are a huge part of my life.  I have good friends who truly love me and help me be strong. 

But sometimes I need a little push to keep me moving on…

 

There’s a bird down the street, an African Grey, like my brother’s in the British Virgin Islands, who sings all day in his cage.  He is a beautiful bird, and his cage is dressed beautifully with dangling bright coloured toys, and food.  He looks happy enough.  He can sing.  And he has a companion, another species which is white, and has a cage of his own “down the street” (which means on the same porch but hanging from a different post – that’s bird language for subdivision).

I feel sorry for him, this African bird, and at the same time, witness how much he loves to perch, and sing, to me and others passing down the street.  He has a good life, with owners who love him, hanging in front of a truly beautiful house with manicured gardens and a comfy shady tree to keep him cool, and a gentle breeze.  He has full view of the street with cars and passersby, dogs and kids, everything.  He sees everything.

 But like me, he is not always a participant – is he?  Can he fly from tree to tree and gawk and cry from above?  Can he leap forward or backward without banging into anything?  Can he skydive in his cage without falling on his head?

The truth is, I have no cage, only what I choose.  This bird has no choice as I see it.  I do.  I have a beautiful cage, hand-made, and perfectly chosen for me. I have a beautiful family.  But what does this bird, me, want to do?  Soar to great heights, crash and burn, follow the path leading to a future home?

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It doesn’t take much to make me sing.  I could write my song in a prison cell or on a paradise island.  Any bird can sing from their cage, as in “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings,”  by Maya Angelou.

But can he soar?…

When I leap out of my cage, out of the wilderness of other people’s stuff, venturing off into giant aquariums and wonderlands of things, I begin to soar….

What does it take to move me, truly?  To make me soar? 

It takes courage. 

It takes heat and pressure. 

It takes a chance encounter. 

It takes an unexpected dance.

dancing with an orb?

My wild bird song can play if I want it to, but sometimes it needs encouragement.  That means the courage that comes from being with others who are guiding me, nudging me forward, giving me a little kick if necessary (like my horse Bella ;)), or my brother Rick Moore taking “Lucky” out for a night on the town :).

Brother Rick with Lucky in BVI

Brother Rick with “Lucky” in BVI

A champion or master?  A guide or friend?  It doesn’t seem to matter. All of us play our parts.  Sometimes we are filled with the ability to soar and fly. Other times, we need someone to gently open our cage and nudge us forward, or show us a better way. 

And if that doesn’t work, God will find a way to get us off the ground, even if he has to rattle our cage, remove us from our cage entirely, or bring strange and unexpected events.  Force us to fly, to save ourselves or someone else. Whatever it takes.  Whether gentle or more forceful, we find our way out.  Whether temporary or more permanent, we find new wings.

 

Yup, that's me, soaring in Bahamas

Yup, that’s me, soaring in Bahamas

All I know is, this bird wants to soar!

 

This post is for Miracles of Courage. What does it take for you to have the courage to move on? To sing your song? 

Share with us on the blog comments below, or write to me.  🙂

 

VIDEO RESPONSE:

Rick Moore: Sure, but have a look at this latest series of 1-minute videos I’ve started, many of them feature ‘Lucky’… you’ll see her only cage is the world around her, Lol

 


 

The Climb

Last night I had a dream, that I was readying myself for a trip in one scene, preparing my documents, determined to go.  In the next scene was a tall ladder attached to a very high slide in a park. 

I was moving toward the kids in the park, my dog dancing at my heels excitedly.  Once I approached the rails, there was no one left in front of me. It was quiet.  I climbed. The sky was perfectly blue and clear…  

I am re-publishing this blog post/poem, “The Climb”,  from my 2011’s “30 Days of Miracles”, in honour of my dream last night, and as entry point into this week’s theme: “Miracles Require Courage”.  

I hope you enjoy your mountainous climb…   

 

 mountaintop climb

 

1
 
 “Jump off the high dive, woman.”
She looks at him.
No.
Yes.
No.
“OK, have it your way.”
He picks her up and throws her in.
 
2
 
“Jump off the high dive, damnit.”
“NO. I can’t.”
“Yes you can.”
“No, I won’t.”
“Yes you will if I have anything to do with it.”
She pauses.
He smiles.
She runs.
He chases her.
She jumps in.
 
3
 
 “Go on, you can do it.”
“I know” she says and smiles.
But she doesn’t.
He pauses.
She looks at him.
“Why should I?” she asks.
“What are you waiting for?” he answers.
He waits.
She goes and climbs the first step.
 
4
 
“It’s cold up here.”
“So.”
“I’m hungry. I want to come down now.”
“No.”
“Why?” she asks again.
“Because you don’t want to.”
“OK.”
She goes one step further.
 
5
 
“It’s high up here.”
“I know.”
“What should I do now?”
“I can’t hear you…”
She contemplates.
Nobody is there.
She is all alone.
What do I do now?
Keep going.
She doesn’t go.
She tries to come back down,
But something keeps drawing her nearer.
 
6
 
She comes back down and rests.
She does other things to distract herself.
He doesn’t care.
He waits for her.
Then, when she is ready, she asks him again.
“What should I do now? Go again? Do you want me to?”
“Do you?”
“I do. Something is calling me nearer.”
“Then go if you want to. Do it.”
 
7
 
She goes again,
This time she is one step nearer.
Suddenly there is a crowd.
Only a few looking up at her.
She is doing something newer.
They are cheering for her.
This is fun again.
She climbs to the top and takes a peek at all there is to see.
She freaks and comes back down.
They pat her on the back, but she has a frown.
“What’s the matter?” they ask.
“I didn’t do it yet. I pretended to. I didn’t climb the whole way. I didn’t jump off.”
“So. You tried. That is enough.”
“NO. I want to go again.”
“Good. Then go.”
 
8
 
This time there is no one around.
She creeps out into the night.
She climbs the ladder fully and stands at the top.
She sings her song to the mountaintops and the trees.
She is free.
No one is listening
Or so she thinks.
In the morning there are people everywhere,
Crowding her for a time,
Congratulating her on her mountainous climb.
She is dumfounded.
 
“How did you know?”
 
“We could hear you.”

 

 

P.S. This time, after hovering between 6 and 7, I am nearing number 8. Where are you?

 

Not for the Faint of Heart

There is a lie that goes like this:  If we feel good, everything is hunky-dorey.  If I have a good day, my life is grand. If I have a bad day, something is very wrong.  Sometimes I feel like my greatest defeats were entry-points to something greater. My most humiliating, self-defeating moments, my greatest glimpses into the path of freedom.

Most people are not willing to go there. Most people just want to feel good and know their own truth. Their own self-designed mechanism for putting a smile on their face each day.  I know this sounds cynical and downright scarey, but the truth is we don’t know the truth.  And that scares the frickin’ sh*%#t out of us.  We will do anything to make it OK.  We will agree with whatever is going to get us through the day.  And if life is going wonderfully, there is usually a shoe that falls. Why is that?

I don’t believe in negativity. I believe it exists, but I don’t believe in it.  I also don’t believe in cynicism or analysis. All the thinking in the world won’t get us there.  Has it yet?

I’m happy to feel good as much as the next person.  And I celebrate every good moment as it happens, the miracles that come to me, that I am willing to see, and willing to share. But the truth is, I don’t see most of them. And I suppress most of them inside of me.  Why is this?

Because it’s scary to tell the truth. It’s scary to say you love someone, and it’s even more scary to mean it and act like you do.  It’s easier to hide behind well-meaning phrases and sentiments, to play the game.  And then cry when your team loses, and realize you’ve been rooting for the other side.

It’s all a game.  That’s the comfort and the joy.  But when it falls down around you, like a giant puzzle you’ve been spending years assembling, it feels like hell. Why did I do all that? How am I ever going to start again?

The truth is, most people don’t know what love is. Especially those who seek it the most. Including me. I can play at it, but I cry like the next person when I fail to meet its enraptured promise and fall short of the love inside of me.  I know it’s there, but where is it when hide and seek never seems to end?

I’m not even talking about romantic love. I’m talking about love for everything, including myself.  It starts with me, but if I can’t win at it, is there any hope of loving someone else? Maybe.

My hope is in the understanding that we have no idea what we are, and that comforts me.  The fact that I don’t know, means there’s more to know and understand. And that is a huge blessing. If I knew everything now, and this is the mess I find myself in, then what hope is there for me? Of course, there is no hope in insanity.  But I also know the light in me. And when that light is on, all seems clear to me. Easy.

The truth is, I feel more love sometimes for strangers than I do for me, or for my “loved ones”.  My special family and friends.  Because there are no ties or expectations, no failures or examples to be made, it is just free.  A hello means just that, a thank you and a please. There are no other requirements to live by.  Just being myself, being free.

Full moon party, BVI

Full moon party

 

I had a healing circle at my place a couple of weeks ago. I had no idea who was coming. It was all left up to “fate”.  There was another party next door I could have gone too, a bit more traditional, but I didn’t. For some reason, I wanted to try something different.  I just wanted to.  There was no obligation, no hesitation, and no desire to make my life perfect for anyone to see. My kitchen was a mess, filled with teacups and saucers, and pans ready for sauces. It was a bustling, “here’s what it’s like just to be me.”  I didn’t have to please anyone.  People helped me. And I was delighted to just take a nap and see what came to me.

Each time the door opened, I felt a surge of happiness. Every face brought a surprise, a guest I hadn’t expected.  I felt like hugging them all, and I did! We spent the night out by the fire, doing meditations and prayers and sharing our stories and understandings.  And sometimes we disagreed. But there was a synergy I hadn’t expected, an ease.  It felt like family.

Maybe when we are stripped of our exterior, our desire to fit in, our feeling that we must understand everything before we begin – we can actually experience something and ride the waves of what the truth really is.  We can’t name it or even own it, it just is.  In glimpses, it comes, when we are least prepared.  When we are exhausted by trying.  When we give up the “fight” to win.  When we just “give” in.

That’s the truth as I see it, the truth I lost and won.  It isn’t the same for everyone. That’s why life on earth is so hard.  We all want to master our own game. But if we just throw up the puzzle pieces and ask for what may, if we just give in to what comes our way, what would happen to all our defenses? Explanations? Expectations?  I’d gladly give in.  I’d gladly lose and win.

Aaaahhh…..   that’s it for now.  A piece of my mind, and a glimpse of something greater within.  A huge mix to take in.  It isn’t for everyone, but it’s the closest I can get to true.

Amen.