How to Forgive Others

Sometimes “people” get the best of us (or so we think). The truth is, we are all suffering from the same dis-ease: being human!  Here is how I began to resolve this very human problem and achieve greater peace and clarity.

I had been tested lately, with an old pattern that caused me to be angry with myself and others. Just when I thought I was above all the madness, it hit me. And my irrational brain fired off chemicals of alarm and warfare. Things came out of my mouth that I knew were not true, and yet I felt they were. I would defend them to the death, even though I felt miserable saying them. I wallowed in self-pity and despair…
It took me days to figure this one out! How could I have been given so much insight and wisdom, and still suffer from this same problem? How long would it take to finally be rid of it and not feel such hate, such victimhood?

I was even angry at my angels for not saving me from this devastating problem. Although nothing on the outside was really wrong, on the inside I felt such pain and sorrow, and just wanted them to take it away and fix everything. Where was my miracle now? Now, I was really mad!

prayer angel

This was a very humbling dis-ease. It was a dis-ease of mind, that we all suffer from on occasion, some more than others. I couldn’t see the benefit to this kind of feeling, and yet I couldn’t quite let go of it either. I wanted revenge – not in some evil way, just a little punishment for the one who had offended or hurt me? These are not thoughts I am proud of, but I confess they were there. I wanted them to change and say they were sorry. I wanted them to come to me downcast and change their behaviour towards me. I wanted everything to change except me!

Does this sound familiar?

Be the change you want to see in the world. –  Gandhi

 

Then in my frustration and despair, I was growing impatient for a solution. But more than this, I wanted to understand everything so I wouldn’t repeat it. That was worth much more than a temporary fix or a ‘just make it go away’ attitude.

In my meditation I asked for the angels to help me. I was still angry, and I expressed all my feelings without holding back – I just let it all out, tears and all! Funny enough, there was a lot of grief under there – as many experts believe anger hides a deeper hurt, pain or sorrow. I saw this as a long-standing problem, not just a recent event. I wanted to resolve it at a deeper level, and be free of it. I cried out in pain, but what I was really asking for was love and clarity…

andreheartimage

 

Then it came. Though I was doubtful in my present condition that it was possible, I listened for guidance and it came. I heard the still, small, voice, this time in the voice of Mary (Mother Mary), and Jesus, who guided me to go up a little higher, in my consciousness or imagination, and stand with them in heaven. This was unusual. Usually, we ask them to come down to us! Well, this time, I was being asked to climb a little higher in my consciousness, and imagine that I could be raised up to where they were standing.

I arrived in what they call the “interlife” where souls go between lives, where we see the bigger picture and learn our lessons. I could see why this was a good idea, given that I wanted clarity, and couldn’t see it at all from my limited perspective.  Instead of seeing with human eyes, they asked me to stand side by side with them (squeezing their hands) and looking out upon the world and my situation through their eyes and my newer perspective, and then to tell them what I saw.

Then it came to me. I saw that I was really being tested and challenged to overcome my anger, not just for myself, but for all of humanity.  My healing was healing everyone involved!  I no longer blamed myself for this problem, and saw that it was something that affected me and many, many more for generations, including those I had been angry at!  If I could overcome this anger and learn to forgive myself and them, I would be free, and in time, so would they. This was really a service, a difficult but very important service, and I was being guided and helped to make it through with flying colours.

All would be OK.

I also felt no anger while I was in that state of mind. I felt a peace and calm, with a sense of understanding and clarity.  I saw the purpose in everything. The situation and future were so much brighter than I had imagined! All things would improve if I could complete this one task. Forgive myself, forgive others, and let go of the anger. See it as a service, and remember the larger perspective. Then I would be patient, and not demand others change for me. I could see that it was me that was in the process of changing, being guided to a whole new way of thinking and being that would liberate both them and me.

This was good news!

For one who did not, in my limited smaller perspective, think it was possible to feel better about this, I did. The anger was gone from me. I didn’t need the other person to do anything to deserve this happiness for myself. I was forgiven. And I could enjoy happiness and peace of mind again. This was the lesson.

Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespassed against us. –  The Lord’s Prayer

And with this renewed sense of calm and inner purpose, I began to write about this very topic, and share my insights with those who could be helped by them. And I could begin to enjoy being my wise, loving self again. 🙂

And that was a miracle to me!

 

P.S. Have you ever experienced forgiveness of someone and felt the benefits yourself? Share in the comments below.

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