In a recent journey through inner landscapes of past lives and other spiritual realms, I discovered something I already knew about myself:  I hold an incredible amount of wisdom and POWER. My problem: I don’t own it. Yet.

But, what if I did?

What does it mean to “own my power”? I get tired of all these trite phrases now, “owning my power”, and I’m guilty of using them on a regular basis to make it easier for myself and others to “get it”.  But, if this journey isn’t personal, if the revelations aren’t specific enough to be meaningful, what good are they? But it’s a start. Bare with me.

What I really mean is…  I have experienced deeply spiritual, wondrous things, and received specific messages that are not just for me, but do I share them? Rarely.  If I have access to all this power and wisdom and knowledge, why don’t I admit it? Share it?

There is something to be said for being modest, being accepted. No one, including me, wants to feel rejected or “alone”, outside of, different. “Special” maybe, separate, no. Or worse, to be called a “cuckoo” for being a little different.  Personally, I call myself a “cuckoo-head” all the time and wear it like a badge of honour!

But seriously, at what point do I recognize that this is just a sly ego ploy to get me to hang back and be accepted. To NOT be myself. To NOT say those things. To NOT make a difference in people’s lives to the degree that I could. Not to be labeled a “cuckoo” which I already proudly claim, so w all the time.

I’ll give you an example. Last week I was in a class exploring Life Between Lives (the place we go when we die, before we return again, if you believe in reincarnation, and, even if you don’t). During this process I began to channel a greater being – by greater I mean more powerful than I’m used to, and expressing things in such a bold, direct way that felt more assertive and clear to me than my usual way of expressing.  The energy in my body was so great that I could barely contain it. Some people had to sit down on the ground they could just sense something big was happening.  I can’t take credit for this, but then I had to ask myself after it was done – why is this happening to me?  If this being is coming through me, imparting this knowledge and wisdom to me, isn’t it a part of me? Something I can now claim as a part of myself?  If I am being exposed to its higher knowledge, than isn’t it my knowledge, too?

My teacher hinted to me after class, “You now have the key. Own it. Use it.”

I don’t have to be Perfect to be Powerful

I now have the privilege of teaching, something new for me.  I am not used to teaching adults. I am usually better with children.  In my classes I am exploring various spiritual and experiential themes – things that are very practical (like money), and very personal and deep – like each person’s unique calling and gifts. I feel how important this is, and yet I still hang back, pretending not to know what I know, afraid of saying too much. Keeping it safe (for them, or for me?)  But who am I really pleasing? And who am I really helping by holding back?

What I am sharing here is my own internal process, and I’m not afraid to share it. That is part of my gift – honesty.  I am not perfect nor ever claim to be. My humanness is what makes any of this sharing possible.  I’ve been told by many that it is my humanness and vulnerability which is so attractive, and which makes the wisdom possible, accessible. I am an amalgam of both realities. I believe this makes me better, not less than. But, and this is the hard part, by attuning to my spiritual gifts more often and owning them, I would be so much more able to help myself and others transcend the difficulties we all experience here.  And by owning my gifts and using them more often, I am being more honest. More myself. Who I Am, in truth.

So what do I know? What is my POWER?

I have been channeling for years. I have been asking and seeking for decades. Perhaps I even came here with the spiritual quester’s cap on. My heart and soul longs for it. I just can’t tolerate anything less. I just can’t accept the status quo.  But, I must have CLARITY OF PURPOSE in order to ACT ON this higher knowing, to exercise this POWER in the world. Without that, my powers do not have a proper outlet.

If I don’t step up and start vocalizing this truth without shrinking back or apologizing, it just feels like I’m playing in the sandbox of life counting how many grains of sand there are, or debating why some grains jump out unexpectedly while others stay in line (chaos theory – thanks, Cass.).

Where does My Power come from?

My POWER comes from acting on what I already know I’ve been given without having to have it all figured out yet. I know ENOUGH. I don’t know everything. But I KNOW. I know when it feels right, and I know when it feels wrong.  I know ENOUGH to keep on going. My power comes from having the courage to succeed. To keep on becoming myself.  Keep on exploring. Keep on asking those questions. And better yet, offering my INSIGHTS, my RADICAL experiences of what life might be on the other side of the sand box. Where ultimately does it all come from? I can’t tell you that. And yet, I still Know.

As my teacher says, “Once you know something, you can’t un-know it.” (Unless you really want to).

And why, if I Know better, would I choose to forget?  To pretend it’s not true?

I guess what I’m saying in this excruciatingly meandering way, is….  I KNOW a lot already. I’ve experienced a tonne. And I am an eternal spirit with access to divine wisdom that I want to share.  So, get on with it!

Isn’t it time to Own it?  To Accept my Power?

Everyone is given it in their own way. But very few ask for or accept it.  I did. And I do.

Now, all I have to do is – Own it.

Let me know your thoughts on this. Have you experienced your own power?  Do you want to?  What can we do to allow this to happen more often? To support it, encourage it, trust it, own it.  I want to.  Do You?

Write below and share your knowing, your power.