Recently, during a state of deep relaxation using guided meditation and hypnosis, I asked for answers regarding my life path and purpose, and experienced a series of scenes or inner visions, messages from what I felt was a much higher plane of consciousness. Anyone can do this if they are willing and receive the proper guidance or training. It is not necessary to believe in the scenes or symbols literally to benefit from their healing power.
For me, each one asked me to surrender my fears and recognize who I really am, what I love, and what I came to do. And to use the gifts I had been given. They transformed what was once dark or uncertain (the past) into something beautiful and awe-inspiring, powerful and awakening… My heart was opened.
ENTER THE RIVER
The first came to me as a scene of Christ sitting at the bottom of a tree. I was about four years old, with raven hair, and lots of questions. I held up my chubby little fingers to him, and he delighted in me. He placed his hand over my hand and said,
“This hand is my hand.” Then he placed both hands on my heart and then on his heart and said: ”This heart, my heart.”
I smiled and looked up. I wanted him to make me laugh. Sadness had taken hold of me. Grown-up questions, darkness and terror that needed to be forgot.
“Make me laugh again,” I pleaded with him.
He said, “Come with me,” and stood up. I followed him down past the path and before I knew it we were at a river’s edge. It was glowing green all around the river, and the river bed was a deep brown. He stepped down the river bed, dropped his robe and went in. I stood there delighted and surprised. He was making me laugh, alright! There was Jesus, the man who loved me, who left and came back for one more day… wading into the river to the very middle. He lay back on his back, his head and toes sticking out, floating and resting on the water’s shimmering surface. His face was full of tranquility and peace. I could see a smile growing on his face as he breathed…
I got the sense he was asking me something. To come in! And even though I couldn’t hear him, I knew my little four year old body was not going anywhere near that river’s edge anytime soon! I stayed standing and watching him, comforted by my beloved brother and friend who had become like me.
I never went in the water that day. I didn’t dare. I didn’t understand what it meant, for Him, or for me. We were equals, he said, my heart was his, my hands, my tiny body would float too. But I couldn’t give. Couldn’t give into the unknown, the scary, the insecure. Not yet anyway.
THE CAVE
Before this beautiful vision, I re-experienced an ancient memory or scene, that occurred just before the last…
I found myself locked in a cave of darkness, left alone during a crisis. An elder brother (not more than fifteen) had put me in there to protect me from what was happening all around. They needed to the city to see Jesus. I wanted to go with them, but they wouldn’t let me. The mother did not want me to to see anything.
I wept and screamed and waited for someone to return and rescue me. I pounded on the walls of the giant cave, and scraped my knees on the dirt floor. I sobbed quiet tears to myself and closed my eyes tightly. I thought I would never want to be in that cave again, that giant door closed upon me. But I did.
When the brother came back to get me, he hugged me in shame, he was so frightened. He tried to explain, but couldn’t. Nothing would prepare me for the loss of what I had before, the innocence of that time. Nothing would be the same. My beloved friend was gone.
THE CAVERN OF THE HEART
After these startling scenes, I felt frozen. I did not know what to do with them! Metaphor or memory intertwined and I did not know how to connect myself back to the present. A few weeks later, as I sat in meditation, I asked for the meaning and purpose of it all, and received these symbols and messages, one building upon the other:
First, I saw a broom and some bath salts. I thought this was rather funny (I don’t like to clean), but I then got the impression to “clean out your heart” and wash away the pain that had collected there. Later I bathed with salts and allowed the tears to flow. By the time I was done, I was ready, I felt renewed.
In the next meditation, Mother Mary appeared in a golden hue, old but beautiful. She handed me a series of gifts:
As she touched her hand to my heart, she handed me a long pencil with a giant, clear red heart on the end. “Write with your heart” was the message I got. Then I saw a small bookcase where the writings could go.
Next she showed me a baby she held in her arms. It had golden flecks all around it. I could see it so distinctly, it was not generic. It was not white-skinned, but light brown, with curly dark hair and little eyebrows, sleeping peacefully. She handed me the baby and indicated for me to hold it to my heart.
When I asked, “are these messages for me real?” she released three brown birds from her robe, which flew directly over my head.
Amazed, I silently asked what to do with all these gifts?...
Immediately I could see the cave again, only this time, I was calmly sitting at its centre as an adult. In my right hand was a candle which I placed on a small table in front of me. A book lay open and I was writing. I could see myself surrounded by this golden light, completely at peace with the work at hand. I held the baby in my left arm, gazed peacefully at it – its purity and innocence, to be protected. I was now the protector. The mother. The creator.
TRANSFORMATION
The cave had been transformed from a place of darkness and uncertainty, to what had been renamed the “Cavern of my Heart”, now open and filled with light and purpose. Creativity. The heart had been cleansed, illuminated, and could be returned to at anytime. No longer locked in isolation, I was given sanctuary and truth. Wherever I went, it could go with me. Whomever I thought of, whatever I truly desired, it could be found there, resonating in my heart, waiting to be cared for, tended to. It was now my source of connection and purpose, clarity and wisdom.
Illumination.
I was so grateful I cried – happy tears this time.
Then I heard Jesus say,
“All things will be found in here.”
What Can I Learn from This?
These were profound moments for me to experience, even in my inner field of vision, or imagination. Some felt distinct like memory, while others were more symbolic to help me understand the meaning. I had struggled to know “what’s next” and “why”, and this put many pieces of the puzzle together for me. Perhaps going this deep (or high) was the way for me to know my path and stay on track. I was also amazed how the experiences were transformed from something so traumatic (the cave of fear) to something so beautiful (the heart). This gave me hope and inspiration, assurance that I could do whatever needs to be done. And that I would never be alone again. I believe we can all learn something from that.
I also learned I could relax, too. I do not have to be so hard on myself. It could be as easy as laying back in the river…
But I will come to that soon…
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