Category Archives: Relationships

What Is Channelling?

Many people ask me, What is Channelling? and what is the difference between a channel and a medium? etc. Here is my answer, followed by the answer that came to me through channelling…

Before I get into how my channelling gift developed and the recent events which led me here, let me attempt to define channelling with my own inner wisdom and experience, followed by my Divine channel’s answer to the question, beyond my own limited frame of reference.

What Is Channelling?

Krista’s Answer: 

Channelling is… an ability to convey God’s or Divine Beings’ or Spirit’s messages through someone who is both open and clear or pure of heart. Some people can channel deceased loved ones and other beings, that are not necessarily of the higher realms. I do not do this. I only channel beings of the highest realms, and those they bring forward, who are sometimes loved ones who have crossed over, or other people’s relatives. However, this is not my main purpose or gift. I associate mediums with those who primarily channel deceased loved ones; and there are good mediums like Theresa Caputo, of the TLC show, The Long Island Medium, who come from the white light of God, and not so good mediums who channel lower entities or “whatever comes through”. This can be quite dangerous and not recommended.

The purpose of my channelling is to uplift humanity and correct or heal misperceptions, give solid information or guidance, provide comfort, reassurance and encouragement, and channel healing at the deepest level, whether physical, emotional, mental or spiritual. It is always wise, loving and powerful. Anything less than that is either my own ego interfering (the conscious mind), or someone else’s from a lower realm, which I avoid.

I protect my channel by eating good vegetarian plant-based foods, limiting or eliminating alcohol or sugar, water fasting on occasion (sometimes weekly for a whole day, that’s 24 hours), prayer and meditation, forgiveness and surrender to a Higher Power. I also say the Lord’s Prayer and the Channelling prayer before I channel, calling on God, Jesus and the angels, and sometimes Archangels to clear myself, and the space I am working in. This clears my channel, heart and mind, and allows my body to become a pure vessel of light so that I can convey the wisdom coming through me, to help myself in my own life first, so that I can then be of service to others, including my family, friends, clients and those who find my work.

When I am prepared, I then go into a deep trance using my training in hypnosis, using a kind of inner guided visualization, I connect with the golden light, and when I feel the energies opening within (especially around my crown chakra at the top of my head), I begin to move or speak… I identify the voice (or collective voice) that comes through me as the Angels and other Divine Beings. Sometimes as part of the healing session, I bring my clients into trance with me, and we journey together, while I guide and convey the messages, following the directions given to me by my Divine helpers.  What comes through is what my client needs (not necessarily what they want to hear, but what they need to know or experience for their highest good in that moment). This may involve messages about your life, or journeying to the life between lives to experience yourself as a soul, meeting your guides and angels, or even experiencing past lives for healing and forgiveness. It is always to free you in the present so you can live your true life’s purpose now and be of greater service to humanity. 🙂

One quick side-note: a question some of you may have… Can anyone channel? I don’t think so – at least, not yet. I do believe it is a gift from God and a service that is directly related to my (and other’s) life’s purpose at this time.  It also requires a lot of dedication and commitment in order to do it well and accurately. However, everyone can receive messages from their guides and angels in some way (like inner knowing, nudges, signs and synchronicities or through angel cards like Doreen Virtue’s), and many already have good intuition or psychic abilities – but they may not have been developed to the extent of being a full channel, conveying the words, wisdom and divine energies of Heaven for the purpose of healing. That is not to say they are not gifted, or that their words of reassurance and love are not powerful – it’s just not the same as full channeling. You have to experience it to see the difference!

There! That’s my answer! Whew.

Now, let’s see what happens when I channel…


The Channelled Answer:

Audio – Listen here…

Transcription of channelled message:

“God’s Will be Done. God’s Will is nigh. All are coming into alignment with God’s Will. It is time. God is coming through all the channels of light that are available to Him at this time, for God’s Will is done through others, through you, through all who are open, and who are willing, who are able to convey the messages of Spirit through their channel of opening, for God’s Will is done through the mind, through the heart, through the soul. This opening comes through in the best ways for the individual. It is not always done though the spoken word, sometimes it comes through an idea, a thought, a process, a system; it comes in many ways, the inspiration. The channelling comes through many people, through many ways, many ways. This is one, this is one; and so it is, that this way helps those who are open to receive the Blessings that come. For God’s Will comes through this channel, and God’s Will comes through you who receive it, for you are a part of that, and you cannot be a channel without someone to receive and so you connect and become One.

The Oneness is what creates the channel, for it has a purpose, and without that purpose it has no sense and does make any sense. It must flow through to someone/something, it cannot be just for one, it must be for all, for all are benefiting from the use of the information, as well as the energy.  The energy flows through one to the other and back and forth, and spreads as well, it is something that cannot be contained, it goes out into the realms of spirit as well as the physical earth and all the inhabitants of that plane, and so everyone is lifted. It comes.  It does not happen through a linear sequence, it comes through the arterial? brain, it comes through a different witness, a process of creation. God’s Will comes through the energies of the system, the person, the creation, and it trickles out from there into all who are willing to receive it. They are willing but also not willing at the same time. Many channels are blocked at this time. We open them slowly through this process of awareness, and channelling is one way to open and to unblock those who are open to it, yet still resistant as well. This is one way we can reach all who need this work and who can relax and receive it. It does not require a lot of effort, but it does require an openness to receive it and a willingness to follow the guidance. For guidance does come through this method of creation.

God’s Will is for you to benefit, not to receive information that would not help you, and so the other ways that God reaches people are through many, many systems on earth, on this planet. There are many ways, many ways.  God’s Will is flowing through the internet, through many ways where people read information, many ways that people find to communicate with one another, even in the texting and communications that go back and forth between individuals, seemingly indifferent and not important and yet something occurs: there is a communication, a witness, a receiver, someone who is caring for the other and reaching out into the distance to pull them into a Oneness, a connection. God is working through every relationship on the planet at this time, and in this way, every relationship is a channel of the Divine. 

God’s Will comes through relationships as well. Even those who are challenged and are struggling with relationships, are being challenged to uplift themselves and connect at a higher level, to see the other as… a dream, as a witness, as a part of themselves, as well as an extension, an extension of God, for God is with all, all, All beings, whether they are aware of it or not. The channels are open in some and not in others. God Wills all channels be open, but this is not always possible in this short period of time. It will not always happen, for some can not do this alone, and so others who are more open and light come to help and to receive the information on their behalf and to spread this love. It is coming NOW through the various channels who have been prepared for this path. This path is for those who are walking with God, and who need to convey this information in order to be at peace, for their channels Are Who They Are, they cannot function without creating and extending the love that is within them, and that flows through them at this time; it will create tremendous anxiety to suppress the information, and it will also create depression for those who struggle with depression are simply closing down their channels and have not opened up to the light, and do not see the purpose of their lives.

This is a message from the ethereal realms for you to open up your channel to the light and find someone who can help you, for God will work with you through them, and you will become One in the process and receive all that God Wills for you, for you are a part of God and cannot go alone on this planet anymore. No, there is no room for loneliness, there must be joining, and channels are always communicating and connecting with and for others; they are never solitary, they are always for the benefit of all, including themselves, for God lifts them as well, and it is a healing process both to receive and to give the information.

There is more… there is more coming, and the more energy that comes, the more channels need to be open in order to receive the Blessings that come. This planet has been a dense one, and we ask that you lift yourselves a little higher through the various methods that Krista has outlined in her message, including her diet and her way of channelling and her way of overcoming resistance through forgiveness and through prayer.

It is important that people find a way to loosen and lighten themselves from their heavy loads and burdens, to find a counselling ear, to find someone who can listen, and to be at peace and to create connection. It is important at this time to find and open the channels of God, and to connect those who are struggling with the light. These are the light workers who have come to do this work, and that is why it is important at this time, for simply speaking from the human ego or voice is not always enough, and sometimes we need to speak a little stronger and clearer through an open channel, in order to have the information be received clearly without any human interference. For God’s Will is not always perceivable from the density in which you are now standing, and from which you speak in a normal day-to-day existence.

It is important to lift oneself through meditation, hypnosis and other methods that come through these channels. Listen and learn, learn and listen, find a way, find your way through the darkness to the light. For that is the only reason why the channels are here, to open up others, and to be at peace, for God is coming through all, and all are being asked to open at this time.

The density causes concern for many, the heaviness and the burdens of this world, the violence and the illnesses and the disease, dis-ease of mind, for God knows that all are struggling, and there is no reason to struggle anymore. There is a way through the darkness into the light. You are being called now to hold onto the light, and to witness the light, and to speak from the light.  If you are listening to this message, you are being asked to receive it in a way that calls you forth as well, for you are not simply receiving the information for your own benefit, you are also being asked to go forward as a being of light, and to begin to recognize yourself as a being of light, and not just a physical person. You are more than that. All is well. You are more than that! There is more, more for you to do in this world. The work of God is very complex and diverse, there are many, many, many parts to it, and you can play your part very well. You simply have to ask, and you will receive the answer through various methods. You may receive it within yourself  by simply going still and listening, you may also channelling through the methods that have been outlined, by seeking a channel or becoming one yourself. You are already a channel, you are simply not open yet. There are more people on the planet now who can do this work, and there is no reason not to find one who can help, for all you need to do is look and you will find one of your brothers or sisters who is a couple steps ahead on the path and who is calling you forward. Simply join in and become more aware of yourself and what is possible for you now. You will find more hope and more freedom this way. You will find more upliftment. You will find more possibility and more answers for all the things that concern you. There is no need to struggle, there is no need to fear or be in pain, for God is with you and has provided all that you need to hear and to receive the messages that are coming your way…

Please be at peace, and know that we are with you at all times. We love you. We send you Blessings. We send you forth into the light, into the love that this world so desperately needs. You are within the realm of Spirit when you speak, when you move in this way, when you receive the Voice, when you hear the Voice, and when you call forward your own voice to speak in this way. God will come through you as well if it is your will and His. If it is the Divine Will for you to be a channel it will be so, it is a Calling and you will know. It is simply a Calling, and all will come forward when they are ready, not everyone is ready at the same time, and so no one can be forced, no one can be told they must come. That is all. It is an invitation to come forward and to be at service and to be at peace, for you will be healed along with all who come into your contact. You will be healed along with them, and you will be joined with many, many people who seek on this path for freedom and enlightenment that all the planet so needs…


There is (more) coming! There is more coming for All, All on this planet at this time. Not one will be left behind, not one will be left out. There are messages, there are people and energies and interventions for all who are asking, for all who are seeking, for all who are calling forth to God, asking for help. They shall not be deterred, they shall not be left behind. Even those who shall die or move forward into the afterlife, will be answered, all will be answered in time. All, all receive what they can receive at the moment that they can. The world play that plays out is not always in/from God’s Hands, for God’s Will be done, but the human ego is very strong and plays its own will out in time. God’s Will is for all to wake up and to be happy, for all to realize their potential and to love one another as themselves, for God Wills that all find love within themselves through the channels of light that they are. Everyone is a channel of God but they are asleep, that is all. You, you are not asleep. You have woken, you are listening to the message. You have come this far, and you will continue on your path. Know that you are not alone, that you have done well, that you have taken a step forward, and that you are being called forth to do more work. There is more for you, and there is more for all. But those who are ready will receive more because they are ready. It is in wait for all who are coming towards God and being led Home…

That is all for now.”


What do you think? Did you notice a difference between my human explanation and my Divine helpers through the channel? Send me your questions or comments or inquire about my work here, and I will do my best to answer you.

See Krista channel live at Miracles Grow Here! events every month in Scarborough, Ontario.


Go to Krista’s new website and Experience Moore Miracles for yourself! 



Life Became an Editing Room – Part III

Have you ever felt that you had awakened into another way of being? Something so earth-changing that you were never the same again, and had to start your life anew?   Continued from Meeting Your Soul Companions – Part II  of my Spiritual Soul Journey series. 


Part III – Life Became an Editing Room

 After I returned from New York in 2009, life seemed to return to “normal” for a while, hectic and crazy at times, then lonely and confusing.  I missed my new friend and needed to learn there would be more soul companions along the way.  We were still connected even if not on the physical plane.  I was not alone here, and this was just the beginning.

There was no question, God showed up on that beach to give us new direction and transform us to a higher level.  I could feel the vibration coming off my body and became more sensitive to loud noises or emotional disruptions of any kind.  I wanted to spend more time in nature, and stay connected and in harmony with this new source of Spirit and well-being. I had a deep sense of calm, even through the many storms ahead.  It was as if something else was navigating and I just wanted to follow it and surrender my life completely…     

I could not shake the feeling that something big had just happened to me, something irreversible.  Like God had opened my eyes and I could finally see;  like I was carrying supernatural forces of Love within me.  I felt awakened, alive and renewed, with a total change of heart and mind. I no longer cared about the same things that used to bother me – like pleasing other people, winning auditions, or making lots of money.  My old ambitions seemed to have left me for a while.  I was suddenly enraptured with a deeper sense of love and understanding, courage and purpose, and connection to those committed to spiritual growth and the bigger picture of humanity. 


In the meantime, I had to carry on with life as a wife and mother, even though I felt like a different person…  This did not make it easy on my family or friends who were used to me operating in ways I always had.  Though they were supportive in all the usual ways, I couldn’t explain the deeper longing I had for Spiritual connection and purpose.  It was like I was speaking a different language and could not translate what my heart most wanted.  Yet, I was suddenly willing to fight for things I believed in, and risk disapproval, even from those closest to me who couldn’t understand at the time.  It was disconcerting to say the least, but very empowering.

Over the next year my life became an editing room. I was being edited down to my finest, most crystalline form. Everything else was tertiary.  I began to distance myself from my old world of acting, and lost interest in following up on “leads”, which felt thin and meaningless to me. I began to change what I was “putting out there” on my website, expressing myself more creatively with my own independent words and ideas, rather than waiting for or depending on the needs and intentions of others.  I no longer wanted to be directed by outside influences, but instead by that Internal Force, or Voice for God.   

song of beloved cover.

Those inner urgings and promptings led me to begin channeling new writings, poetry (Song of the Beloved: A Mystical Journey), and creative ideas that seemed to drop from heaven above – ideas to teach spiritual workshops which kept me up at night planning!


But my old thoughts kept interfering as I struggled with a new way of being…

How was I going to function in the old world I lived in, while all this was going on inside of me?  

What would happen to my old life if I began to move in this new direction?  

Where was God really leading me, and could I trust Him?…   

I experienced waves of fear and doubt as I began to face greater uncertainty about the future.  I was afraid my old world would come crashing down around me as this new butterfly within wanted to fly off in a million directions…  


It would take another miracle to focus my attention on a task, set my feet firmly on my path and give me faith in my new direction….


To be continued…

Back to Part II

Back to Part I

Part II – Meeting Your Soul Companions

Have you ever met someone you instantly “knew”, someone you felt a deep connection to, that could not be explained by time or circumstance?

In Part II of my new Spiritual Soul Series (continued from “Part I – Miracles as Messages and Signs”)  I discover how sometimes God sends us angels, and sometimes Soul Companions to help remind us who we really are…


hampton jutney

  When I boarded the Hampton Jutney from New York to Southampton, I somehow knew it was going to be the trip of a lifetime, not because of what it was, but because of who I was becoming.

As I picked up my pen and notebook and sat back in my seat, a deep peace enveloped me, and I intuitively wrote:

  I am walking into the Arms of God.”

 You see, my soul was already readying itself in a beautiful state of awareness, one which notices the higher vibrations of life as it is unfolding, and is ever alert to God’s presence everywhere – the people on the bus sleeping or eating, the cars moving beside us on the road, the rain slapping against the bus driver’s windshield. All was like a native dance and I the initiate. I really had no agenda of my own, but was totally open and willing, with the constant prayer of “My life is yours. Please show me the way. Amen,” whispered on my tongue.  

When I got to the retreat, I was instantly happy.  I hadn’t even done anything yet!, but I had arrived.  My mind felt fresh and unburdened by the usual routines of life, the fears of everyday existence and worries about the future.  I was immersed in the present, with a pure feeling of joy!  

I found my dorm and flopped on my hospital-like bed with gratitude.  A place as clean and unwritten as I felt – an open slate.  I felt as fresh as a young student ready to learn and absorb everything. Nothing could have pleased me more.  

Out on the open patio at the conference centre, I met my fellow “students”.  I am not much of a small-talker, and often find large crowds uncomfortable, unless I am able to just be myself.  So I was!  With no pretense, I just approached a few people at a time. I heard one man talking and joking nearby, so I went and spoke to that group.  I listened as usual before saying anything. I like to gauge the feeling, the energy of a room or group, before I engage.  I had no trouble in this instance, and as some of the people moved on, this man and I began to talk and share some of our background and why we had come to the retreat.  

I felt an instant connection, like I had known this person a million years (I probably had!). As we spoke, more information was revealed, and before I knew it we were walking on the nearby beach of Southampton at lunch sharing our stories and deeper spiritual understandings. I felt I had met a true Soul Companion…  


We returned to the village and walked the charming streets. He shook his head in amazement as I spoke, deeply appreciating what I had to say about everything, and understanding the deep emotional content.  He reassured me there was nothing wrong with my head, and that who I was was truly special and amazing.

I asked him what he meant.


“You are like a giant sun,”  he said.  “radiating out in all directions.”

I had never heard anyone describe me like that. I felt not only validated, but loved as a unique  human being and even Spirit.  It gave me confidence not only in myself, but that greater inner urging that I needed to continue on my Spiritual path…  

When I got home, life seemed to return to “normal” for awhile, hectic and crazy at times, then lonely and boring. I wondered what was happening to my inner world? I knew something was up, because that inner urging led me to begin chanelling new writings, poetry, ideas and visions that seemed to drop from heaven above – ideas which led me to find or create new communities where I would meet even more of these beloved Soul Companions who were just waiting for me beyond the horizon…

I never would have predicted what these new ideas and special connections would mean to my very Soul or future; how they would catalyze me into my true purpose here, affect so many others with my emerging gifts, and catapult us into the incredible Journey to come…


To be continued…. 


Go to Part III

Go back to Part I



 P.S. Have you ever met a soul companion and felt instant love and recognition?  Write to me below or share your journey here.


Where Love Begins

This week I am learning a lot about relationships, especially the one I have with myself.  One of my greatest teachers is my husband, Steve, who reminds me constantly what it’s all about.

Steve is a happy guy.  He doesn’t need much to make him happy, and he loves me unconditionally. I can’t tell you the number of screw-ups I’ve made over the years and he hasn’t batted an eye.  Sure, he loses his cool on occasion, but only when I am immensely stubborn and his back is to the wall. 

As a woman, my expectations at times are enormous, and my internal pressure cooker is often ready to blow.  When he sees me doing too much, or being hard on myself, he is the first to say, “Just go with the flow, mon'” (with his usual Bob Marley impression).  As he listens to all my concerns patiently and without fear, he reminds me there is nothing to fear, and to stop trying so hard to please everyone.  Just do it for yourself!  In other words: “Love yourself first.”

 Steve doesn’t care what other people think.  That irritates some (including me at times, who cares enormously).  But I admire and am amazed by his ability to let the water fall off his back.  He isn’t pretending either.  He really doesn’t let things bother him too much (except for politics).   As he hums in the kitchen (out of tune at times!) making his usual feast, his spirit is buoyed by the fact that life is good and he is happy no matter what.  I shake my head in amazement just thinking about that.

If I could be born with a brain that doesn’t think too much, doesn’t worry, and doesn’t challenge myself constantly with invincible feats, I would be happy too. But that isn’t the answer.  I was born happy.  And my worrying and need for approval didn’t come from my birth, it came from life and lessons learned that need to be unlearned.  

But even Steve would say – don’t make it so hard. It’s easy!  Just relax and be yourself.

Yesterday I was in my garden, which I have neglected again — a constant reminder of insufficiency.  I struggled to feel good about myself in the face of so many weeds and  self-neglect.  Yes, that is how I saw it.  A metaphor for me.  Rushing to quickly fix everything and make it look good so no one will notice.  But what about my self?  If I am worrying too much and doing it to look good for the neighbours, who will care in the end?  It is myself I must face in the mirror.  Appearances mean nothing if I am not doing it to nurture myself.  Why not just be with nature and relax? Why not just be here with it while no one is watching?  Can I accept that?


A beautiful flower emerges when we let it

So I began pulling a strangling vine off of a nearby bush. That in itself was satisfying.  And I breathed. It doesn’t all have to be done today, I said to myself.  I also nurtured myself by doing a little at a time, and not over-doing.  Doing is a toxin to avoid being. 

Just Be!  he also said. (That too makes me fume at times).

But he was right.

As I lay in bed thinking about all of this, yes thinking, he is sleeping peacefully.  I could learn a lot from him. 

But in the meantime, I’m going to love Krista as much as I can.



P.S. Thank you, Steve.


Not for the Faint of Heart

There is a lie that goes like this:  If we feel good, everything is hunky-dorey.  If I have a good day, my life is grand. If I have a bad day, something is very wrong.  Sometimes I feel like my greatest defeats were entry-points to something greater. My most humiliating, self-defeating moments, my greatest glimpses into the path of freedom.

Most people are not willing to go there. Most people just want to feel good and know their own truth. Their own self-designed mechanism for putting a smile on their face each day.  I know this sounds cynical and downright scarey, but the truth is we don’t know the truth.  And that scares the frickin’ sh*%#t out of us.  We will do anything to make it OK.  We will agree with whatever is going to get us through the day.  And if life is going wonderfully, there is usually a shoe that falls. Why is that?

I don’t believe in negativity. I believe it exists, but I don’t believe in it.  I also don’t believe in cynicism or analysis. All the thinking in the world won’t get us there.  Has it yet?

I’m happy to feel good as much as the next person.  And I celebrate every good moment as it happens, the miracles that come to me, that I am willing to see, and willing to share. But the truth is, I don’t see most of them. And I suppress most of them inside of me.  Why is this?

Because it’s scary to tell the truth. It’s scary to say you love someone, and it’s even more scary to mean it and act like you do.  It’s easier to hide behind well-meaning phrases and sentiments, to play the game.  And then cry when your team loses, and realize you’ve been rooting for the other side.

It’s all a game.  That’s the comfort and the joy.  But when it falls down around you, like a giant puzzle you’ve been spending years assembling, it feels like hell. Why did I do all that? How am I ever going to start again?

The truth is, most people don’t know what love is. Especially those who seek it the most. Including me. I can play at it, but I cry like the next person when I fail to meet its enraptured promise and fall short of the love inside of me.  I know it’s there, but where is it when hide and seek never seems to end?

I’m not even talking about romantic love. I’m talking about love for everything, including myself.  It starts with me, but if I can’t win at it, is there any hope of loving someone else? Maybe.

My hope is in the understanding that we have no idea what we are, and that comforts me.  The fact that I don’t know, means there’s more to know and understand. And that is a huge blessing. If I knew everything now, and this is the mess I find myself in, then what hope is there for me? Of course, there is no hope in insanity.  But I also know the light in me. And when that light is on, all seems clear to me. Easy.

The truth is, I feel more love sometimes for strangers than I do for me, or for my “loved ones”.  My special family and friends.  Because there are no ties or expectations, no failures or examples to be made, it is just free.  A hello means just that, a thank you and a please. There are no other requirements to live by.  Just being myself, being free.

Full moon party, BVI

Full moon party


I had a healing circle at my place a couple of weeks ago. I had no idea who was coming. It was all left up to “fate”.  There was another party next door I could have gone too, a bit more traditional, but I didn’t. For some reason, I wanted to try something different.  I just wanted to.  There was no obligation, no hesitation, and no desire to make my life perfect for anyone to see. My kitchen was a mess, filled with teacups and saucers, and pans ready for sauces. It was a bustling, “here’s what it’s like just to be me.”  I didn’t have to please anyone.  People helped me. And I was delighted to just take a nap and see what came to me.

Each time the door opened, I felt a surge of happiness. Every face brought a surprise, a guest I hadn’t expected.  I felt like hugging them all, and I did! We spent the night out by the fire, doing meditations and prayers and sharing our stories and understandings.  And sometimes we disagreed. But there was a synergy I hadn’t expected, an ease.  It felt like family.

Maybe when we are stripped of our exterior, our desire to fit in, our feeling that we must understand everything before we begin – we can actually experience something and ride the waves of what the truth really is.  We can’t name it or even own it, it just is.  In glimpses, it comes, when we are least prepared.  When we are exhausted by trying.  When we give up the “fight” to win.  When we just “give” in.

That’s the truth as I see it, the truth I lost and won.  It isn’t the same for everyone. That’s why life on earth is so hard.  We all want to master our own game. But if we just throw up the puzzle pieces and ask for what may, if we just give in to what comes our way, what would happen to all our defenses? Explanations? Expectations?  I’d gladly give in.  I’d gladly lose and win.

Aaaahhh…..   that’s it for now.  A piece of my mind, and a glimpse of something greater within.  A huge mix to take in.  It isn’t for everyone, but it’s the closest I can get to true.









Love of Self

There is a split in Western culture that says, to love oneself is paramount (otherwise we cannot love others), but to love oneself too much, selfish.  The dreaded label of Narcissism.  But what hope have we if we do not Love ourselves?  If we cannot bear to look within?

In the myth of Narcissus, a beautiful hunter falls in love with his own reflection (in one version, having been misled to a pool by Nemesis out of revenge for him rejecting his suitors). Not realizing it was himself in the water, he died unable to kiss the reflection or know and receive love.  In his place, a Narcissus flower grew by the river.


But what is the deeper story?

In Ovid’s version, a beautiful nymph Echo approached Narcissus while he was resting after a long hunt.  She did not appear to him at first, but hid in the forest and followed him relentlessly, obsessed by his beauty.  In fear of being hunted, he called out, “Whose there?”, to which she responded with his self-same words (or echo), “Whose there?” over and over again until it exasperated him. When she finally appeared to him and attempted to kiss him, he shunned her and told her to leave him alone.  She wandered the forest for the rest of her days pining for him and he died alone.


Is this Self-Love or Self-Loathing?

But what is the longing and rejection of Narcissus? Was it really self-love that killed Narcissus, or a misunderstanding of what love is (knowing oneself and other are the same)? Echo’s obsession and Narcissus’ rejection ultimately became the same dance of duality, both seeking love elsewhere and suffering from lack of self-awareness and true companionship. For Narcissus, to know oneself was a danger; to love another, even stranger.  Like looking into a deep well, the longing for self and love were both unmet.  For Echo, wandering and searching for love, while never finding it, not recognizing it in herself, left her a wanderer forever, both parties empty of the promise of what love can do and become.

Will not the mirror we look in, whether it be ourselves or another, only prove our point (we are not worthy) until we ultimately reject ourselves and the other? And if we reject ourselves first with self-sacrifice, obsessing about another, will we not have ourselves to blame?

self love mirror

I have always disliked the haunting story of Narcissus because it shames one for liking oneself too much (presumably), and I have been a bit vain in my time, being an actress and all!  But if I were telling the truth, was it really love that had me looking to outward appearance and accomplishment, trying to get others to like me, or get attention?

Self-loathing and emptiness cannot be filled by the well of others, nor in the reflection in the water of our own perceptions. If we truly loved, we would not seek to possess or reject ourselves or others at all.

The Hope of True Self-Love and Love as Correction

Perhaps to love oneself and to love another is the self-same promise – for one cannot be without the other.  Perhaps if Narcissus had closed his eyes he would have found the voice within that would finally answer him.  Perhaps if he had opened his heart to Echo and forgave her, he would have found congenial love with another.

What I am getting at is a deeper love or longing that has nothing to do with outward appearances or selfishness. Something that makes us happy to be in our own company, and in the company of others.  For me, journalling, meditation, being with friends and family, yoga, and respect for my dreams as separate from a sense of self-worth. (In other words, I can have it all if it is genuine :). 

roniNurture yourself: in your own blossoming, another stands to blossom. 

In your own rejection, another is rejected. 

Embrace the challenge of love.

Accept the transformation. 

Stand to look at the qualities you don’t like in yourself and another. 

Befriend the Self inside that waits. 

Forgive what lays waste.

Bear to watch and witness what love can do…

The Hope of what Still Awaits.



 Thank you, Love, for your sacred surprises & redemption

 Some interesting quotes on Self-love:

“Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting.”  (Shakespeare, Henry V, 2.4:73, 74)

“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. (Carl Gustav Jung)

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us”
- (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

“Only those who give over all desire to reject can know that their own rejection is impossible.” (A Course in Miracles, p. 43)
What do you think?  How do you nurture Self and Love another? Can you do both? Share your stories with me.  Write in the comments below! 🙂

Finding Your “Yes!”

yes-man1How do you know if you are doing the right thing? Here is what I have discovered which you may find helpful.

When you have a decision to make, or something is disturbing your peace of mind – try this.  Tune in to your body and see what it is telling you.  Does your body fill with tingles, feel more open and light?  Or does it feel heavy like a burden on your shoulders?

Sometimes our bad feelings have more to do with our negative thoughts, than with the people or situations we are thinking about. Sometimes, when we shift our thinking or intention, our bodies and minds lighten, opening us to higher consciousness and actions we didn’t think were capable of just a minute ago.



Let’s say you are finding it hard to communicate with someone, or you’ve had a fight and don’t know what to do. 

You can either:

a) Avoid the situation and try to find relief your own way (ie. I’m right, he’s wrong!)

b) Confront the other person and argue until they agree with you (not recommended, though talking is better than not talking at all), or 

c) Ask for a miracle in your thinking, a new way of seeing this, and respond accordingly.  (I’ve tried all three and eventually land here : ).

 If I am honest, no matter how mad or upset I am at someone, or how guilty I may feel, I really just want to feel better and have good, peaceful relationships.  No one wants to feel bad or be blamed.  What we really want is to be happy, right? : )


How I Found My “YES”! 🙂

1. I “Get real” with myself about my hidden motives, mistakes and insights.

2. Ask myself,  “what do I really want out of this?” and open myself to the best possible solution.

3. Imagine a time when I felt really good. I might even imagine the other person smiling at me, or exchanging a warm hug.

4. Tell the truth. When I am honest with myself, I go back to the other person and share how I feel, what I may or may not have done, and what I hope for.

5. Express praise and gratitude for the other person, what they did right, and listen to their side as well. 

The results?

 We still mrose in palmay struggle, but usually open to love once again.  Inevitably things work out in some way that I hadn’t expected. Hope and gratitude shifted my energy to gratitude and possibility, and I leave the rest up to God. There are always insights, ways of seeing I had not thought of.  When I put my defenses down, I can receive the good instead.

I feel my heart open, light pour in and a surge of positive energy.  I feel buoyant, light and free, able to express love and joy in the moment, and imagine future possibilities.   I recognize this “yes” in my heart, mind and body as the fruits of doing the right thing.



Whenever I am approaching something new or scary, I often worry or obsess about it.  This causes difficulty in making decisions. My body fills with tension, making it hard to breathe or think clearly. Then it is hard to tell if my feelings are based on my not wanting to do something, or just fear and resistance to doing the very thing I really want to do!

The first step I take is calming my mind and feelings with meditation or prayer.  I have found in the last while that the deep relaxation, surrender and release that comes from meditation brings in new thoughts, feelings and actions.

Recently I had trouble making a decision about a next step.  Inaction was driving me crazy! So I meditated and asked for guidance.  In my relaxed and receptive state, I received several visions of clarity which led me to accept what I wanted to do. 

Subsequent unexpected “signs” from others who do not know me that well gave me further confirmation that I was on the right track (some were quite startling!). It also gave me confidence that I am not alone, that I was not just “making this up”, but with my heart and inner guidance, where my “yes” resides.

In the end, I felt amazed at the beauty of the insights coming to me, that something was supporting my greater unfolding.  My body and mind filled with positive energy, clarity and confidence to make decisions and move forward in the direction of my dreams.



I learned this technique frommuscle-testing-yes a wonderful woman named Christie Marie Sheldon.

If you are uncertain which path you should take, ask yourself a question and then listen to your body’s responses. 

  • A “yes” usually feels lighter, happier, more open and forward-moving.   
  • A “no” or “not right now” answer might feel heavier, like a tightness, or pull in some area.Everybody is different, so try and see what your “yes” and “no” feels like.  You can also try muscle testing.

If you don’t know what “yes” feels like, remember a time when you felt totally sure of something, totally happy about it and “on fire” with possibility and confidence. Put that feeling back in your body and say “yes yes yes!”   Now, that’s your “yes” answer!


Have fun with this : ) You really can change your world!




Blessing on the World


It’s time to share, all of you, who you are and what you are. There is no time for mundanities, no time for never – too late, or ‘not care’. Just go girl, do man, do what you can.

Rise from the ashes, brush off your hands. Rise to the calling that calls to your Soul, the effer-bud, the ever-ash, the never-ending Call. Who are you? It speaks. It gives you your Name. What are you? It asks, coyly brushing you clean. Do you remember the time when none of these questions toyed with your mind? When you were free?

A friend called me a “Soul Writer” today – I was struck dumb. That was a good Name. I was grateful for her recognition in the moment of what I am. What I can do. I can rise above the ‘I don’t think I can’. When I write, I play with you. I remind you what you are too.