Category Archives: Spiritual Soul Journey series

Life Became an Editing Room – Part III

Have you ever felt that you had awakened into another way of being? Something so earth-changing that you were never the same again, and had to start your life anew?   Continued from Meeting Your Soul Companions – Part II  of my Spiritual Soul Journey series. 

 

Part III – Life Became an Editing Room

 After I returned from New York in 2009, life seemed to return to “normal” for a while, hectic and crazy at times, then lonely and confusing.  I missed my new friend and needed to learn there would be more soul companions along the way.  We were still connected even if not on the physical plane.  I was not alone here, and this was just the beginning.

There was no question, God showed up on that beach to give us new direction and transform us to a higher level.  I could feel the vibration coming off my body and became more sensitive to loud noises or emotional disruptions of any kind.  I wanted to spend more time in nature, and stay connected and in harmony with this new source of Spirit and well-being. I had a deep sense of calm, even through the many storms ahead.  It was as if something else was navigating and I just wanted to follow it and surrender my life completely…     

I could not shake the feeling that something big had just happened to me, something irreversible.  Like God had opened my eyes and I could finally see;  like I was carrying supernatural forces of Love within me.  I felt awakened, alive and renewed, with a total change of heart and mind. I no longer cared about the same things that used to bother me – like pleasing other people, winning auditions, or making lots of money.  My old ambitions seemed to have left me for a while.  I was suddenly enraptured with a deeper sense of love and understanding, courage and purpose, and connection to those committed to spiritual growth and the bigger picture of humanity. 

stock-photo-6376899-freedom

In the meantime, I had to carry on with life as a wife and mother, even though I felt like a different person…  This did not make it easy on my family or friends who were used to me operating in ways I always had.  Though they were supportive in all the usual ways, I couldn’t explain the deeper longing I had for Spiritual connection and purpose.  It was like I was speaking a different language and could not translate what my heart most wanted.  Yet, I was suddenly willing to fight for things I believed in, and risk disapproval, even from those closest to me who couldn’t understand at the time.  It was disconcerting to say the least, but very empowering.

Over the next year my life became an editing room. I was being edited down to my finest, most crystalline form. Everything else was tertiary.  I began to distance myself from my old world of acting, and lost interest in following up on “leads”, which felt thin and meaningless to me. I began to change what I was “putting out there” on my website, expressing myself more creatively with my own independent words and ideas, rather than waiting for or depending on the needs and intentions of others.  I no longer wanted to be directed by outside influences, but instead by that Internal Force, or Voice for God.   

song of beloved cover.

Those inner urgings and promptings led me to begin channeling new writings, poetry (Song of the Beloved: A Mystical Journey), and creative ideas that seemed to drop from heaven above – ideas to teach spiritual workshops which kept me up at night planning!

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But my old thoughts kept interfering as I struggled with a new way of being…

How was I going to function in the old world I lived in, while all this was going on inside of me?  

What would happen to my old life if I began to move in this new direction?  

Where was God really leading me, and could I trust Him?…   

I experienced waves of fear and doubt as I began to face greater uncertainty about the future.  I was afraid my old world would come crashing down around me as this new butterfly within wanted to fly off in a million directions…  

caterpillar-to-butterfly

It would take another miracle to focus my attention on a task, set my feet firmly on my path and give me faith in my new direction….

 

To be continued…

Back to Part II

Back to Part I

Part II – Meeting Your Soul Companions

Have you ever met someone you instantly “knew”, someone you felt a deep connection to, that could not be explained by time or circumstance?

In Part II of my new Spiritual Soul Series (continued from “Part I – Miracles as Messages and Signs”)  I discover how sometimes God sends us angels, and sometimes Soul Companions to help remind us who we really are…

PART II

hampton jutney

  When I boarded the Hampton Jutney from New York to Southampton, I somehow knew it was going to be the trip of a lifetime, not because of what it was, but because of who I was becoming.

As I picked up my pen and notebook and sat back in my seat, a deep peace enveloped me, and I intuitively wrote:

  I am walking into the Arms of God.”

 You see, my soul was already readying itself in a beautiful state of awareness, one which notices the higher vibrations of life as it is unfolding, and is ever alert to God’s presence everywhere – the people on the bus sleeping or eating, the cars moving beside us on the road, the rain slapping against the bus driver’s windshield. All was like a native dance and I the initiate. I really had no agenda of my own, but was totally open and willing, with the constant prayer of “My life is yours. Please show me the way. Amen,” whispered on my tongue.  

When I got to the retreat, I was instantly happy.  I hadn’t even done anything yet!, but I had arrived.  My mind felt fresh and unburdened by the usual routines of life, the fears of everyday existence and worries about the future.  I was immersed in the present, with a pure feeling of joy!  

I found my dorm and flopped on my hospital-like bed with gratitude.  A place as clean and unwritten as I felt – an open slate.  I felt as fresh as a young student ready to learn and absorb everything. Nothing could have pleased me more.  

Out on the open patio at the conference centre, I met my fellow “students”.  I am not much of a small-talker, and often find large crowds uncomfortable, unless I am able to just be myself.  So I was!  With no pretense, I just approached a few people at a time. I heard one man talking and joking nearby, so I went and spoke to that group.  I listened as usual before saying anything. I like to gauge the feeling, the energy of a room or group, before I engage.  I had no trouble in this instance, and as some of the people moved on, this man and I began to talk and share some of our background and why we had come to the retreat.  

I felt an instant connection, like I had known this person a million years (I probably had!). As we spoke, more information was revealed, and before I knew it we were walking on the nearby beach of Southampton at lunch sharing our stories and deeper spiritual understandings. I felt I had met a true Soul Companion…  

Southampton

We returned to the village and walked the charming streets. He shook his head in amazement as I spoke, deeply appreciating what I had to say about everything, and understanding the deep emotional content.  He reassured me there was nothing wrong with my head, and that who I was was truly special and amazing.

I asked him what he meant.

 

“You are like a giant sun,”  he said.  “radiating out in all directions.”

I had never heard anyone describe me like that. I felt not only validated, but loved as a unique  human being and even Spirit.  It gave me confidence not only in myself, but that greater inner urging that I needed to continue on my Spiritual path…  

When I got home, life seemed to return to “normal” for awhile, hectic and crazy at times, then lonely and boring. I wondered what was happening to my inner world? I knew something was up, because that inner urging led me to begin chanelling new writings, poetry, ideas and visions that seemed to drop from heaven above – ideas which led me to find or create new communities where I would meet even more of these beloved Soul Companions who were just waiting for me beyond the horizon…

I never would have predicted what these new ideas and special connections would mean to my very Soul or future; how they would catalyze me into my true purpose here, affect so many others with my emerging gifts, and catapult us into the incredible Journey to come…

 

To be continued…. 

 

Go to Part III

Go back to Part I

 

 

 P.S. Have you ever met a soul companion and felt instant love and recognition?  Write to me below or share your journey here.

 

Miracles as Signs or Messages – Part I

New Spiritual Soul Series.  Part I.  In the past few years, a series of miraculous signs and messages began to filter through my conscience, showing up as unexpected events and encounters that literally rocked my world…

It began as early as 2009, when I began to seek my true purpose here, and ask for what I was born to do.  I knew being an actor was not the real reason for my gifts and talents, as it only brought me so far and lacked any substance or meaning.  I can only say that what I was being prepared for was a much deeper calling…

 

Then God showed up. 

 

In the summer of 2009 I went on a writer’s retreat which had nothing to do with my “spiritual calling”, but I thought it would be fun.  After all, I got to go to New York and Southampton, and my adventurous spirit was temporarily appeased.

Before I left, I had a feeling that something greater was about to happen, because I had been asking God and seeking my true purpose, something where I could be of greater service to others.  Then I wrote this message which I received using an inner dictation process from Jesus…

 

Painting use courtesy of Joyce Girgenti - www.inspiredbrushstrokes.com

Painting use courtesy of Joyce Girgenti www.inspiredbrushstrokes.com

March 5, 2009, I wrote:

“How can my career turn into a vocation or calling for you, something I have full trust and faith in?  Can you release me into knowing more fully who I am and why I came here?” I asked Him.

“Don’t forget why you came here.  It is to heal, and it is to offer to you and to all others the things that brought you here in the first place.  These things are your chosen few promises that you made upon embarking, and they are closed when you have closed the lid on them.  That hasn’t happened yet.  There is more to do.  There is much more to do, not just for you, but for others.  Do you understand?”

“Yes, I do.” I wrote in response, astonished.

“God knows and appreciates most deeply this invocation to order.  You know what you want and you are asking God for it most clearly.  He hears you and I along with you.  You cannot go wrong now for you have asked for the first order, and this is the one that passes the test along to you to pass on to your brothers and sisters.  You will not fail in your task.  And you will be released along with them not because you “passed” but because you gave them what you wanted.  You gave them the worth you asked them for.  Do you understand?”

“Yes” I said again, “I relieved their minds of what I was worried about.  I remembered who I was so they could remember, too.”

“Good.” He said, “Now go forward with this mission in mind.  You are here to heal all others of what ails you.  You are here to remember for them why you brought them here with you, and why they came to minister to you.  This is your mission now.  Use ever means available, and all that you have seen, to bring this truth to light in you and in them.  That is all your mission is here to accomplish.  It is a lot.  It is more than enough for you.”

“Thank you, Jesus. Amen.”  I wrote and took a deep breath and opened my eyes…

 

hampton jutney

So when I boarded the Hampton Jutney from New York to Southampton, I somehow knew it was going to be the trip of a lifetime, not because of what it was, but because of who I was becoming.

As I picked up my pen and notebook and sat back in my seat, a deep peace enveloped me, and I intuitively wrote:

 

 “I am walking into the Arms of God.”

 

To be continued….

 

 Go to Part II