Tag Archives: faith

How to Forgive Others

Sometimes “people” get the best of us (or so we think). The truth is, we are all suffering from the same dis-ease: being human!  Here is how I began to resolve this very human problem and achieve greater peace and clarity.

I had been tested lately, with an old pattern that caused me to be angry with myself and others. Just when I thought I was above all the madness, it hit me. And my irrational brain fired off chemicals of alarm and warfare. Things came out of my mouth that I knew were not true, and yet I felt they were. I would defend them to the death, even though I felt miserable saying them. I wallowed in self-pity and despair…
It took me days to figure this one out! How could I have been given so much insight and wisdom, and still suffer from this same problem? How long would it take to finally be rid of it and not feel such hate, such victimhood?

I was even angry at my angels for not saving me from this devastating problem. Although nothing on the outside was really wrong, on the inside I felt such pain and sorrow, and just wanted them to take it away and fix everything. Where was my miracle now? Now, I was really mad!

prayer angel

This was a very humbling dis-ease. It was a dis-ease of mind, that we all suffer from on occasion, some more than others. I couldn’t see the benefit to this kind of feeling, and yet I couldn’t quite let go of it either. I wanted revenge – not in some evil way, just a little punishment for the one who had offended or hurt me? These are not thoughts I am proud of, but I confess they were there. I wanted them to change and say they were sorry. I wanted them to come to me downcast and change their behaviour towards me. I wanted everything to change except me!

Does this sound familiar?

Be the change you want to see in the world. –  Gandhi

 

Then in my frustration and despair, I was growing impatient for a solution. But more than this, I wanted to understand everything so I wouldn’t repeat it. That was worth much more than a temporary fix or a ‘just make it go away’ attitude.

In my meditation I asked for the angels to help me. I was still angry, and I expressed all my feelings without holding back – I just let it all out, tears and all! Funny enough, there was a lot of grief under there – as many experts believe anger hides a deeper hurt, pain or sorrow. I saw this as a long-standing problem, not just a recent event. I wanted to resolve it at a deeper level, and be free of it. I cried out in pain, but what I was really asking for was love and clarity…

andreheartimage

 

Then it came. Though I was doubtful in my present condition that it was possible, I listened for guidance and it came. I heard the still, small, voice, this time in the voice of Mary (Mother Mary), and Jesus, who guided me to go up a little higher, in my consciousness or imagination, and stand with them in heaven. This was unusual. Usually, we ask them to come down to us! Well, this time, I was being asked to climb a little higher in my consciousness, and imagine that I could be raised up to where they were standing.

I arrived in what they call the “interlife” where souls go between lives, where we see the bigger picture and learn our lessons. I could see why this was a good idea, given that I wanted clarity, and couldn’t see it at all from my limited perspective.  Instead of seeing with human eyes, they asked me to stand side by side with them (squeezing their hands) and looking out upon the world and my situation through their eyes and my newer perspective, and then to tell them what I saw.

Then it came to me. I saw that I was really being tested and challenged to overcome my anger, not just for myself, but for all of humanity.  My healing was healing everyone involved!  I no longer blamed myself for this problem, and saw that it was something that affected me and many, many more for generations, including those I had been angry at!  If I could overcome this anger and learn to forgive myself and them, I would be free, and in time, so would they. This was really a service, a difficult but very important service, and I was being guided and helped to make it through with flying colours.

All would be OK.

I also felt no anger while I was in that state of mind. I felt a peace and calm, with a sense of understanding and clarity.  I saw the purpose in everything. The situation and future were so much brighter than I had imagined! All things would improve if I could complete this one task. Forgive myself, forgive others, and let go of the anger. See it as a service, and remember the larger perspective. Then I would be patient, and not demand others change for me. I could see that it was me that was in the process of changing, being guided to a whole new way of thinking and being that would liberate both them and me.

This was good news!

For one who did not, in my limited smaller perspective, think it was possible to feel better about this, I did. The anger was gone from me. I didn’t need the other person to do anything to deserve this happiness for myself. I was forgiven. And I could enjoy happiness and peace of mind again. This was the lesson.

Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespassed against us. –  The Lord’s Prayer

And with this renewed sense of calm and inner purpose, I began to write about this very topic, and share my insights with those who could be helped by them. And I could begin to enjoy being my wise, loving self again. 🙂

And that was a miracle to me!

 

P.S. Have you ever experienced forgiveness of someone and felt the benefits yourself? Share in the comments below.

Finding Your Inner Path

It’s a beautiful new world, have you seen it yet?  Have you walked on the grass even though snow still tickles your nose?  Can you imagine the sun even when there is cloud?  Or a butterfly in winter – or a snowman in summer?  Or a castle in the sky?

The power of your mind is second to none.  The power of your heart, unstoppable. 

I awoke into a new world, even though I slept in the same bed.  My mind asked for something, and the heart shifted – a shift in consciousness, a lightness of being, a transformational path only the heart can take.  

What needed to happen in order to meet it where it was, to transform?  

Like the caterpillar that had been asleep in the cocoon, I awoke and shifted and realized I could bloom – right here in the Great White North – even after an eternal winter and an ice storm to boot.  

Like the first butterfly which fluttered by me a few weeks ago, it is never too soon to spread my wings.  purple-butterfly

As I stood on the path, the snow literally melting from under me, I must have felt like Oloff, the tiny snowman in Frozen, whose love is capable of witnessing such astounding beauty in the middle of darkness and possible death. As the fire literally begins to melt him while rescuing his friend, he says: “some people are worth melting for.”

oloff and anna melting for

My journey into darkness began with an intuitive sense that I had to go within.  Like Elsa, the new and frightened Queen in Frozen who escapes to the mountain to find herself, I needed an uninterrupted line to the Divine, a time to nurture my own soul and find out what I was capable of. Something on the inside needed to find its Reason, its Code, and then find its way home.  It was a deep dive. But like Elsa and the butterfly above, something beautiful emerged…  

elsa magical

Not only did I feel more connected and honest with myself, I also felt my life could change if I really wanted it to, that anything was possible, but maybe I didn’t have to go so far to find out.  I could witness and create this joy and love all around me, if I was willing to “sacrifice” the little, protective self, which hides itself away from life.  

Things that had once plagued me, tormented me, could just as easily be let go of

My heart slowly melted, allowing me to walk in a state of profound grace…  

2014-03-14 10.21.12

Everything suddenly seemed more alive and precious, every face, whether family member or stranger, instantly appreciated and cherished – even if for a moment – like that fleeting butterfly on my path. Warmth traveled from my  heart in a miraculous moment transforming  strangers to friends. 

What once seemed impossible and erroneous is instantly transformed

into a moment of beauty and wholeness.

Need we be literal and change where we are

or are we literally transformed in a moment that takes us to the heart of the matter?

Elsa finds herself lost in her “Kingdom of Isolation”, not realizing she had unwittingly set off an eternal winter in her homeland, while she held her magical gifts hostage to fear.  

In the end, her answer is not to run away to protect herself and others. She must go back and reverse her fear with love, while reclaiming her gifts for Love’s purposes.  

It’s so simple!  And yet, everything changes after that. 

Finding Your Inner Path 

If you have traveled a path of darkness too long, here is how to find that Inner Path of Light and Love, which is born within you and waits for your return: 

1. Question the “reality” of what you are thinking. You are likely wrong about yourself.

2. Let go of needing to know the answers with your head – and put your attention on your heart.  

3.  Reach in and then reach out.  Find your inner sanctum. Find a friend or God and pour it out.

4.  Then pour yourself back out into the world, in a moment of joy, a moment of true sharing.

  All will be transformed after that.

That is why its called a miracle.

Never let go of finding your inner path.  No matter how many times you get knocked back. Your desire and heart know the way.  The winter cannot hold.  The spring always comes.  And there is an eternal spring within that darkness can never touch. Only the heart loves.

Never listen to the dreary drone of nay-sayers or those who would try to “protect” you from wanting or knowing or saying too much – being too much.  Only those who understand your power can appreciate and love you for who you really ar. Never, ever give up on that.

Never let your practical, fearful self keep you from living a miraculous life.  Only your heart can know that, have faith in that, give that. It can go through the darkness, but grows stronger, and reconnects with the world giving its inner Light.

If you are still here, you are on the right path.

And you are in very good company.  🙂

Now go on, melt the world with Love!

Amen to that!

Krista

P.S. Remember…  You are a Miracle.  The Miracle Is YOU.  Amen to that.

  

 

Hope, Meet Faith

stock-video-15524888-beach-montageThere is not much sense in having hope for something, if we don’t have faith.  If I hope the future will get better, but don’t really believe it will, and don’t act on my faith, nothing happens.  The miracle is in you – remember?  It’s a gift, but it has to be activated by your recognition and faithfulness in it, like receiving and opening a present.

There have been times when I lost connection to the faith inside of me.  I still had hope, but I lacked the faith to keep going.  After a run of success and new opportunity, my well seemed to dry up.  I stopped doing what I came to do, and started worrying again.  I temporarily stopped believing in myself.

I was also frightened that I couldn’t do what I had begun to successfully do, like it was some kind of trick or magic show that couldn’t be repeated, or that it was just luck or by accident (it wasn’t). Like I was a participant rather than the magician.

I forgot to invite the magic in, Faith, to wave my wand and make it so.

Luckily God does not put us on this planet alone (some people think that’s the problem, but I’m not one of them!).

Thank God for true friends, seers and knowers who see the light in you.  Thank God you are not alone and that your will is not just your own. That others see it and feel it and know it too.  And even if they don’t, God sees you.  If you question yourself, your Friends will question that doubter inside of you.

We are given more than one Friend.  Hope is one.  Faith another.

Hope says it can be done.

Faith says, it WILL be done.

And Love says… It IS DONE!

The first is necessary to even see what is possible, to lift us from the wreckage of where we were and see another shore, another promise to reach for.

The second teaches us to be disciplined in our actions and words, and to be careful what we let into our life so we don’t get distracted, or worse, lose our will altogether.  There are tricksters on the path as well. Faith keeps us focused so we won’t go wrong.

The third is the miracle of love which transforms possibility into reality through the power of God inside of us and those we love.  With Love, no hope or faith are necessary.  It is already true. Like the birth of a baby, it is already manifest within just a moment or two since inception, or however long it takes, to show up in our reality.  We know it is true, because we feel it inside of us!  It is only a matter of months for this miracle to show us that our hope and faith were justified, and our love is forever true.

What gives us faith when hope is dwindling?  A knock on the door.  A surprise visit.  A stone found on the shore that reminds us of something. A voice remembered once stolen from our memory and replaced with another.  The silent one who comes in and teaches us to begin again. A step in the right direction.

Never give up trying, never forget what you’ve been given.  Never stop walking toward something you know in your heart is good.

We can get lost in the deepest well, or wade out too far in the ocean.  We have to remember where our legs are, and where we have traction to move.  We can only swim so long.  We have to get up and walk the path we are on.

How do we do this?

We can COMMAND our fear to step aside. 

We can ASK for a greater understanding. 

We can DO what needs to be done.

Our gifts are inside us. But they need to be activated by hope and faith to be given in the way that gives us back everything we gave.

You see, we cannot truly be happy until we give what is inside of us – our truest, most sacred gifts – ourselves.

And when we do that, the most amazing things happen.  We not only have what we want, but we are now the wayshowers of hope and faith others can rely on to access those gifts themselves.

Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In Truth I Am Free… In Ecstasy I Climb

 stock-illustration-3435077-butterflies

In ecstasy I climb, with the wind at my back and the breeze pulling me up the mountaintop and far beyond the sea.  From this place I can See. From this place I can Be. From this place I Know what is what, who I Am, All that Is and what is not. 

I can say Yes to Life and no to what?: promises of the past, self-deception, misinformation – clouds clouds clouds blocking my mind.

I can say Yes to the Knowledge that is Yes all the time.

That is mine.

I claim this today. For all time.

 

I let go of pain and sorrow and complaints. I let go of moodiness and uncertainty.  I let go of battling myself and everyone. I let go of wild imaginings big or small.  I let go of it all.

 

I fall into You. In Truth I am Free. The soft pedaled flower that opens with the sun.  That never re-closes and is never lost to anyone.  That becomes One Sun. One Certainty. Unchanging and Everlasting. Free.

 stock-photo-16959833-freedom

I am Truth. I am Open. I am Free.

I am the Promise of what can Be.

I am never, never alone.  I am One Promise, One Truth, in Everyone.

In Truth I Rise, In Truth I See.  In Truth I am Whole, In Truth I am Free!

 

Amen to that.   

To You and Me.

To More and More of what can Be!

 


 

Letting Go of Worrying

 

One of the most difficult things we can do is let go.  Let go of control, let go of fear, let go of expectations. Let go of heartache, let go of traditions, let go of old habits, old needs, old desires. My most difficult feat to ‘let go’ of is of worrying.

I have made a lifetime habit of worrying. It is something ‘in my nature’ I have been known to say (defend). My husband lifts an eyebrow whenever I go down that old road again. Or when the “What if what if what if” train has left the station.

The truth is, until I know something is going to work out (after it’s over!), it takes a lot of my energy to make my brain ‘Surrender Dorothy’.  I have spent my whole life preparing, envisioning, rehearsing, planning, predicting and even pleasing.  It is very difficult for me to say No to worrying.

I have made a pact with myself that I will allow only so much time for preparation and ‘dwelling’.  Enough to know that what’s done is done.  Good enough.  The rest is not up to me. Call it a deep breath, call it God, or ‘going with the flow’:  it is my anchor when all traditional systems fail, or when plans are a-go and the course is set. Once I have done my part, my job is to let go, step back and Relax…

Imagine whatever you are worrying about is like a dark, circuitous maze. You are hiding in the bushes, wondering what lurks behind every corner, wondering where the light is, the entrance, or the exit.  Nothing makes sense.

Now imagine you are rising above the maze in a ball of golden light. Suddenly everything appears smaller, and you can see the edges of the town, and the gardens, and the houses, and the streets, the hillsides, and beyond.  You can see the entrance and exit to the maze, too, but you don’t need them anymore. Because you have risen above them.

 

That is what it is like to walk in a state of grace. To know you are a part of something much larger, and that you don’t have to work so hard to make everything happen. Do your part, do what you can, and imagine good things happening to you and others. And if you can’t do that, imagine you are taken up by something that can, and that will give you the peaceful perspective and strength you need.

I have done this many, many times before a stressful event or worrisome situation, and always, without exception, one of two things happens:

1) Everything works out exactly as I hoped or better, or

2) The thing I thought I wanted or was so concerned about didn’t work out the way I wanted; but something BETTER came along instead.

And inevitably, this is how I felt:

RELIEF! Gratitude and Release. AWE almost, that when I let go, something good always comes eventually, and, arguably, all is good exactly as it is. 

I just have to get out of my own way!  (Thanks, guys).

Amen.

 

Miracle 28: “The Miracle is ME!”

 

krista red april cropped and large 2008This morning I had a crisis of faith.  Given I can feel great one day, and not so good the next, I wondered if I would ever solve the puzzle of my own mental dance.  I wondered if I’m just making all this stuff up, and nothing I am saying is real.  That’s the real mind f-*-#-*k the ego does.  Yes, dear, you are entirely wrong, and crazy to boot.

So, I lay there for some while, endeavouring not to do anything, deciding if I just stay in bed, I will challenge God to do something – poke me with a big, fat stick, or take me out.  He didn’t.  But I did rise up.  Why?

I thought to myself:  My happiness, my energy, my action does NOT require my belief.  I simply need to do what I know works. That’s it.

I happen to believe in Spirit. That word I cannot be offended by – cannot dissolve into a teary mess if challenged by atheists or my own internal bug.  No, I can shake hands with Spirit. I KNOW Spirit. I do not need to defend anything.  Spirit is I Am, and I see it in everyone.  IT is what arises in me when I get out of bed.  Like right now, I said, as I stood there contemplating what all this means (I know, I think too much).  My mother would give me a swift kick of “tough love” and say go help someone, stop thinking about yourself. That would shame anyone into doing the laundry or laughing with the kids.

The truth is, I know what I need. As glorious as the summer is, it is not my sweet time.  I love the fall (I know, crazy). I love the wild breezes, the dust getting kicked up and travelling to New York on the fly.  I love the surprise of it all. Languid and limp? Not me!

So what does all this mean? What’s the miracle here, Krista dear?  I’ll tell you.  It’s ME!  I decided to change my mind.  This conundrum of what I believe has led me to realize that though I believe many things, that’s not what gets me up in the morning.

Here’s what does:

  • Laughing with you
  • Working on a project I love
  • Working with people in a circle, on a plane, in the rain
  • Climbing tall buildings in a single bound
  • Grabbing a coffee before cracking my books open
  • Getting on a train (GO Train in my case)
  • Going downtown
  • Bright lights, big city love
  • Circle surprises and energy rising
  • Laughing til my face hurts
  • Praying with gratitude (not requests)
  • Believing in myself
  • Holding a vision so big it almost bursts
  • Sharing that vision with you and
  • Watching your eyes light up

So that’s what got me up this morning, and now I am at Starbucks.  Starbucks in Scarborough, which could just as easily be New York or anywhere on earth.  It doesn’t matter. The music fills me, the Chai tea with half and half, honey, cinnamon and nutmeg, banana bread with two hunks of butter and no apologies.  Typing wildly to you and being happy, completely transformed.

Completely – Transformed.

That’s it.

The miracle for today.

What’s yours?

Love,

Me xo

 

 

Miracle 18: “What Faith Means to Me”

This is in answer to Miracle 17: “A Miracle Requires Work” (contributed by my friend, Dom Castanza). Thank you, Dom. And here is what I could not articulate last night. Miracle 18 of “30 Days of Miracles 2012”.

 

I have not been unscarred by life, by disappointment. I am not a perfect human being. There have been many cases when what I hoped for, what I thought was going to happen, never did. I have also received tremendous gifts in answer to my prayers. Unexpected blossomings, savings and messages.

When I was 25 years old, I planted seeds in a garden. These were not normal seeds. They were seeds from a cantaloupe I was eating in my kitchen, in a small town, overlooking a sod farm.  It was a lovely place, and had its charm, but something about it wasn’t for me. I felt a dry kind of existence there, a lack of antiquity, art, interest, pizzazz, LIFE.

 

I worked 9 to 5 (or 10 to 6) and travelled an hour and a half to work each way.  I went to school at night, driving up one of those small country highway roads surrounded by corn fields.  It was dark and my headlights were of no help. On the radio I would listen to those late night radio programs to help me stay awake. Once I fell asleep at the wheel, I was so tired from my travels. I suddenly felt a hard whack on my forehead which woke me up. I was in the car alone. I had no idea what it was, but I said, Thank You.

I graduated and had a baby, one of my dreams come true. But postpartum depression hit me, and my life slowly fell apart.  I lay awake at night feeling that I would die.

Now, while I was going through this, I was reading. I was praying. I was down on my knees. I was imagining, maybe not “intentionally”, but in my desperate hour, of a greater life. I had no idea how that would come to pass. I felt hopeless and lost. Nor was I willing at the time to change anything – I was married and that was that. I appreciated what I had. But I felt stuck, terrified.

It wasn’t until I planted those seeds unwittingly and said a strange, meditative prayer over my own “inner field” that something shifted for me. I prayed for the kind of relationship I wanted, the kind of environment for my children, the kind of creative life I wanted to explore, the feeling of freedom and honesty and love, things I was willing to fight for.

A few months later, I got some help. First, medical. Then, emotional. Always, spiritual. Six months later, I met a man who would change things forever. I moved out and got a place of my own. I joined the theatre and had fun. My world was never the same.

Those seeds were planted when I felt lost at sea, with no land in sight. I had no idea how I would manifest those things, I only felt them in my heart and saw them in my mind.

I believe faith brought them to me. Yes, I worked for it, I moved, I took a stand. But what moved me? What brought those people into my life?  I believe Christ – the Light in all of us – knows the way.

The Holy Spirit dwells in your heart and responds to your every request. You have to be willing to go there. It wasn’t until I fell apart that I opened my arms up wide. Surrendered my old ways. Prayed. Freed myself from the confines of the small table I had set for myself, and instead sat down with those sent for me at God’s Great Buffet.

My life is different today. I have everything in truth I wished for. And I still dream of more. I’m not always satisfied. I sometimes fall down or feel a sense of sacrifice. There are still bigger dreams to live. But my family is safe. Sacred. Perfect for me. And I have the freedom to go beyond what I know today.

In time I will open my arms even wider, perhaps my largest wings yet. Today I pray for this. Let’s see what faith can do.   Let’s see what my open heart and mind can let in.

Faith is the elixir that allows Love’s Light to shine. It is true. It is not belief. It is knowledge unseen. Purpose grown wide and strong. Deliverance.

Faith is not wishful thinking.  It is the miraculous reinvention of your life. It is the perfect answer to the quiet question of your heart, or to your deepest darkest hour. But you have to let it in. You have to expect that your answer will come, and move with faith in its sure direction.

 Life is full of surprises. And in my darkest hour, the light has always shone the brightest.

A man can move a boulder up a hill

But

Faith moves mountains.

What does faith mean to you? What does a miracle take to make it to you or through you? If you could change one thing, and have one ounce of faith that it was a possibility, what would it be?

Miracle 15: “Coming Out of the God Closet”

“Open Wide Your Heart” website Mark Mallett

I’ve been a seeker my whole life.  I was never raised in a religious family.  I always had the freedom to think for myself. I was not baptized until I was 21, and that was by choice, and as my mother said, more emotional than my actual wedding the week before.

I don’t know what possessed me to be so vigilant in my faith. Perhaps I was needy, or broken. But somehow I don’t see it that way.

When I was 10 we had moved from a small town in Elmira to the “big city” of Kitchener, Ontario. I had lost my best friend, she had moved away (we still sent each other songs on tape recorder and sweet notes between “Nina” and “Nimby”, but I digress).  I had to start over, make new friends, deal with the “girl troubles” of getting along, getting picked on.

That Christmas I wrote a list of the top 10 things Christmas meant to me (I know it’s July but bear with me).  At the top of the list I wrote “Christ’s birthday”. Even my mother was surprised. I’m the kind of kid that broke into the presents at 2 o’clock in the morning with a steam kettle to take a peak at what was coming in the morning.  We rarely went to church, and certainly not on Christmas morning. I’m not sure where my religious fervor came from.

Later, after my first marriage fell apart, I found myself slipping away between breastfeeding my baby. I left him with my husband for an hour and went down to the village.  There was some kind of revival in the park, a man on a speaker saying “If you keep playing the same old records, your life will always be the same.  You have to change the record you are listening to.” And then he proceeded to invite others up to be saved.  Something moved my feet up to the front in my bewilderment. I could have gone shopping but instead I was here.  He sent me to the back where I was put in a tiny circle where one of the faith leaders proceeded to speak in tongues and I felt a swirl of energy as I held hands.  When I broke away, my life was never the same.

Six months later, I had left that tiny village, my first marriage, and the life I had been living.  I had asked for help, and it came in the form I needed at the time.  I listened to tapes in the car by Marianne Williamson, “A Return to Love” and began to be interested in A Course in Miracles. But I was not ready for that.

It took 10 more years before I finally picked up the book for myself.  That was after the death of my father-in-law, whose death I witnessed first-hand as he died in our arms. His peaceful transition, and my vigilant care and spiritual fervor, made it one of the most meaningful times of my life.  We witnessed for three months his calm in facing death, and on the last night, lying peacefully in bed here at home, without the oxygen mask that had been keeping him alive, he whispered with such intensity, “Wh-i-t-e  W-a-a-alll”  “Whiiite  Waaallll…” as he reached out and joined hands with his long-passed wife and best friend who died the year before. He described what he could, then drifted into a peaceful sleep. I believe in what he saw and experienced as a gift to us, just as Elizabeth Kübler Ross, Swiss-American psychiatrist and author or “On Death and Dying” believed in what she witnessed in hundreds of patients who had near-death experiences.

But I don’t have to nearly die to believe. There is something in me that knows.  I could always see things in my room when I was a kid and had many lucid dreams. Symbols would appear in the air before me that I could understand and relate to.  Lake a grape-vine embossed pen, meaning “Write”.  Or animals or angels resting on my window.

A couple of nights ago my daughter said she saw a light flash beside her bed, and then on the other side too. Her blinds were closed and nothing was happening in the hall to warrant that.  I had been told recently by one who senses spirits that a man with crazy eyebrows hunched over a bit and white grey hair was near me. That was Jack. My father-in-law who passed, my daughter’s grandfather.  I was convinced he had come to visit her too. And perhaps her grandmother, whom she never met.

In a recent interview with Tina Games, she revealed that she saw orbs of light after her mother died, and that these orbs would visit her and communicate with her, giving her a sense of peace that took all fear of death away from her. No one could understand why she was not grieving the traditional way.  It transformed her life.

Most people believe in something, but for the last five years, I have felt a strong presence to communicate what comes through me in times of lucidity and clarity. People who are in my circles, or whom I have interviewed with have witnessed this sudden light-filled clarity that comes through my words when I speak with authenticity and uncensored vigor. I can feel my crown chakra light up, and others feel the “tingles” too.

I feel lucky to be given this ability. I will no longer waste time in on worrying that other people will think I’m crazy, or some kind of Bible-thumper. I’m not.  Mentioning the name Jesus doesn’t mean I believe everything that has been told or manipulated by the church for power through the ages. I believe he was an enlightened being – the highest of the high. A beloved brother, friend, leader of the Light. But his message was, “These things and more shall you do.” He never intended for us to worship him, but to rise to his greatness. To join him as equal “Sons of God”.  To be One again.

We are all children of God, Christ, Loved, Whole. We come from the same place, and will return again.

This is my story – at least a glimpse. Maybe I will write more.  Maybe I’ll write a book.  But I couldn’t wait to tell you who I am. I couldn’t hide out any longer couching my words. Those who stand with me, stand with me. I am unafraid.

 

Here is a poem I wrote the other day which clearly shows my struggle and breakthrough:

 

October Light by David Simons

“Desert Prayer”

 

I feel nervous

What if I can’t get into the flow?

What if I don’t know?

What if nothing comes to me and it is late past the hour?

Expectation bleeds into

Surprise. Numbness. Falling

Asleep. Getting it over with.

Or breaking through. All

Possible but still, I have to decide.

 

What is the miracle if

It doesn’t come through?

What mocking stillness will

Humble me and help me break

Down the barrier to your

Words, your eyes.

 

I want to express your greatness, your

Gratitude – no, your

Tenderness, humility,

Anonymity? Why does it

Have to be important, mighty?

I ramble on and on stalling

While my heart beats

A vacant heat

Across my chest. Will

My heart open or my mind

Lay awake – insomnia.

Anything is possible. Again

I must decide.

 

Oh, what the hell!

What do I have to hide?

Turn on the water,

Clasp the end of nozzle and spray yourself

All over.

Drink! or bury yourself alive.

 

Who is on the other side?

Who will be in need, quenched by my words, thrive?

Who will I save by

Letting my mind lay

Down and my Spirit fly?

Who will hear my words

And know they are alive?

 

Dear God, let it be me, who hears, who listens,

Who saves, who thrives, and all those

Who come with me.

Let me be healed along with those

I am afraid of.

Let them know me –

And let the stars open,

The night come, the

Heart of my heart

Come alive. A smile

Lay me down in sweet

Surrender, fully fed, kept,

Alive.

 

 

 

This has been part of Krista’s “30 Days of Miracles” series. If you would like to join her, write to her here.