Tonight my daughter was teaching me magic tricks, whilst she was making them up on the fly. Some she knew well and was proud of herself; others, she stopped and hung her head low. “I forget” she said, or “What was I doing that for?….” I knew what she was struggling with: self-confidence in learning something new. She was so eager to present it all to me “perfectly” (and I did laugh and clap as a good audience would), but she knew she wasn’t there yet. There’s no faking that.
I feel the same way in my journey. I am just learning how to do things I never knew. I thought I knew because I’ve watched others do it. Or pretended to. I’ve read books about it. But when I stand up there, or speak, or sing, or whatever that “thing” is, I pause. Sometimes I will pause mid-sentence, or stop altogether. No, I didn’t want to say it like that. Can we try that again??
Right now I am learning to do video (for my website). I’m used to having a set around me, and others to do all the handiwork. Even when we were doing short films, others had the technical jobs. I just stood where I was told, and said my lines (that part was my responsibility and I delivered them well, I believe). My job was to “get out of the way”, and let them do their job. Find a quiet corner to prepare myself and let the rest take care of itself. Not anymore!
I did my first technical setup the other day. I was quite proud of myself! It wasn’t perfect, I’ll tell you. But I was quite amazed what I could do by myself. I guess I have learned a few things! But the true test comes when I learn how to use it. What I will use it for. Saying what really matters to me, that I want to share. That is the nail biter! Once it’s there, there’s no turning back. It’s time to go “on”.
Why do I want to try something new at this time? Why not just excel at what I’m already good at? Why not just keep doing commercials, or letting the “other guys” dictate what is going to happen to me instead? Isn’t it easier just to sit on the sidelines and hold my breath?
NO!
I’ve never been one to sit down on a challenge. In school I was the same. Always the overachiever. I couldn’t just sit back and slack off. I had to know everything I could about what I was doing, and then I had to give it my all. And I did. A little too much, I think! But that pride in doing my best and outshining myself is something I’m used to. I”m not so good at being a beginner.
I know other women who tremble at the thought, when someone suggests that their natural talent at something might blossom into a business. “Who me?” or “Oh, that little thing?” Such modesty hiding under the covers. I just want to rip them covers off! Pardon the image, folks. But it’s true. There is so much talent just waiting to be unveiled. But you have to say yes, I want to. I’m willing to. I’m going to take the next step.
If other folks believe in you, why can’t you? What is so hard about learning something new? Half the time, we’re already half way there – we’ve already got the talent, some skill, knowledge, will. What else do we need? Just courage. And a little time to sow our seeds.
Get sowing folks! Our field needs rowing. It’s hard work this planting and hoeing. But oh! What a surprise, when that rich soil produces that tiny sight. We just want to peel over with delight, reach down in wonder at what our hands put asunder, that field of green has blossomed from YOU!
As my daughter walked away tonight, after doing about eight million hat tricks, I told her, “Don’t give up! Remember, you did all that by yourself, but there are lots more tricks you can learn. You’ll get there! It takes a lot of learning!” She seemed to take that in, at least I hope she did.
I hope I did, too!
P.S. Tomorrow I will give this video thing a whirl, and see where it goes. Forgive me my mistakes (I don’t have a blueprint), I’m just learning. But I bet it will be great, once I get the trick. And I will, too! And so can YOU!
P.P.S.What’s your latest hat trick? What are you still struggling to get the hang of? Have you started yet? I’d love to hear about it below. 
